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Is he just a "Player" as I thought he is?

Tagged as: Online dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 May 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 25 May 2014)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Do you have to be concern if someone that you started exchanging emails online had stopped communicating with you? You see I started chatting with this man online and we even talked on the phone but when he said that he wanted to be my Boyfriend even if we haven't met yet, I of course tell him that his last email "Caught Me by Surprise and sort of pushed me away on what he wrote about wanting to be my "Boyfriend". And continue saying that It's just a little odd because, we haven't even MET yet- and we definitely doesn't know each other completely... and I added that he should know that real relationship needs quality and REAL time face to face to get to know each other, and go through life experiences together which take time. Lots and lots of time." its been 2 days and he just never responded after that. I see him online and he never bothered to even explain his side of the story? I would think that if he's really sincere he would have apologized and explain his side of the story. Instead he just keep quiet so it's my clue that he's probably not interested in pursuing what we started. Is it correct to think that I feel like he is just scamming or desperate?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks to ALL who takes time to respond to this question. Much appreciated.

Just a Little update: So he texted me yesterday SAYING THAT HE JUST WANTED TO WISH ME THE VERY BEST & APOLOGIZE FOR THE MISUNDERSTANDING IN HIS EMAIL. THE EMAIL CONTINUE WITH: "I DID NOT MEAN TO SAY I WANTED TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND "NOW" I JUST MEANT THAT I WANTED TO KNOW YOU BETTER WITH THE HOPE EVENTUALLY OF GETTING TO THAT POINT RATHER THAN ALWAYS REMAINING ON THE FRIEND ZONE. HE CONTINUE TO APOLOGIZE THAT HIS MESSAGE WASN'T GENTLE OR CLEAR ENOUGH & THAT IT WAS A PRIVILEDGE KNOWING ME ON OUR BRIEF MESSAGES. AND THEN SAID. BYE. So now my question is what do you think of this message? Is it sincere or is he manipulating me. I thought of responding just to accept his apology but I don't know if I should. Thanks so much everyone. God Bless all!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (23 May 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou owe him nothing.

no worries,

no further explanation..

NOTHING.

just block him and move on and be glad your relationship radar works well and you picked up on a needy crazy guy.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (23 May 2014):

Honeypie agony auntShould you be worried? Nope, you should just move on.

If he is looking for a gullible woman, I guess he decided YOU weren't it. SOME women are so DESPERATE for love that they will IGNORE they gut instincts and get caught up in "fantasy games" such as these.

TRUST your gut. He WAS trying to move WAY to fast.

MOVE ON. You don'y OWE him to sit around and wait to see what HE wants to do. OBVIOUSLY what he felt wasn't as strong as he pretended.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (23 May 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntNo, you don't have to be concerned if an online interest turns out to be inappropriately forward, unless you developed feelings for him?

You just move on, ignore, don't spend any time trying to figure him out, it's not worth your time.

If you are waiting for an explanation from him, stop waiting. It's just not worth it.

Remember the old adage about kissing a few frogs. You haven't even met this frog.

Release him back into that murky dating pool he inhabits, breathe a sigh of relief and forget him!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2014):

"Is it correct to think that I feel like he is just scamming or desperate?"

Is he the one who's desperate? I don't think so. ALARMS, BUZZERS, SIRENS, AND BELLS ARE GOING OFF ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!

No man in his right mind asks a woman he has never met to be his girlfriend. That's not desperate, it's crazy.

If you are the American lady who asked this question before; regarding a Canadian guy looking for an American girlfriend? This looks quite familiar.

You are in for a scam, or God only knows what; if you are even considering allowing this man into your home. He isn't answering or responding; because it is a psychological game.

The "silent-treatment" is eating at you. That is the ploy of a predator. You're prey!

He is doing this to see just how much anxiety and desperation he can summon from you, by ignoring you. He has played this game with dozens of women, and you sound like you're giving in. Your common-sense is warning you; but you can't stand to be ignored. That's his objective!

For your own safety, I think you better stay the hell away from this guy. He is setting you up, and you may be a victim to an online scam-artist and predator who preys on lonely women in your age-group. You're intrigued and curious nonetheless; but curiosity kills the cat.

I'm going to say this with a caveat. Proceed at your own risk! I'd block him and delete him if I were you!

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