A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Before I start, if my grammar or phrasing is poor, please forgive me, I’m not a native English speaker. This is not another of those “oh dear god, I’m 18 and I’ve never had a girlfriend, my life is collapsing about me” questions, so please bear with me.It is indeed true that at the age of 18, I’ve never had a girlfriend but I don’t think that is overly rare. My upbringing has been somewhat unconventional, born in ex-Soviet Russia in 1993 my parents (members of the Russian Communist Party) were forced out due to a political tiff they got into with United Russia in 2002. Since then, I have moved around quite a bit – after a two year period in the USA, we moved over the UK in early 2004 and I started secondary school in the September of that year. As you can imagine, throughout childhood my social experience has not been brilliant. I was bullied at school in Russia, failed to make any friends in the so-called ‘Land of Opportunity’ and finally rocked up in the UK as an unconfident and socially inept twelve year old. I spent much of my life in Secondary school isolated – I simply found it hard to fit in with my peers. Shortly after entering sixth form however, sometime in the second half of the year, that all changed – I managed to ‘break through’ socially, and over the past year and a bit I’ve slotted into a rather active and very enjoyable social life. Before people get the wrong kind of impression of me, I think it’s appropriate to say that I’m a person who responds well to social pressure, I do things when I feel ready to do them. In the last few months, I have begun to feel ready to take that extra step and start dating (I am aware that harder than it sounds … I’m not naïve :P) In around three months I leave school, and after a spout of inter-railing and some time spent in the Ukraine I will be in university, namely Kings College London. As a pragmatist, I doubt that I am going to leave school having been in a relationship – despite the fact that there are a few girls who I could ‘ask out’, but I am good friends with them and I want to enjoy the friendships I have for the last few months before everyone disperses to different ends of the country. To hem my question in, I suppose what I am wondering is if dating in the first few months of university is relatively ‘easy’ or if one finds themselves in a situation where all females already have boyfriends back at home?, I've heard many conflicting accounts of the experience and really don't know what to expectThanks for answering.
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bullied, never had a girlfriend, period, university Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou'd actually be surprised, there is a female:male divide of 60:40, that must count for something lol!
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (16 March 2011):
 Well it tends to vary by university so I cannot be certain when I answer this. However Kings is a very good university and tends to specialise in the more typically 'male' subjects (science, law, medicine, maths, engineering etc) so you may find a slight bias towards there being more men than women.
However I would not say this will be too significant - here in the UK girls tend to achieve similar grades (if not better) than boys so universities are open to all, regardless of gender.
If I were to make a guess at the male to female ratio at Kings I would say maybe 60% male, 40% female.
But also keep in mind that there are plenty of other higher education establishments in London so say when you go to a student night in a bar/club, there will be plenty of other students there from other universities for you to mix with.
Plus Kings has a midwifery department and a psychiatry department - these are both female dominated professions so some guaranteed women there for you!
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answer, it's definitely given me a sense of perspective as to my situation. The other thing I am slightly unenlightened towards, is how many females go to university single - is it a 50/50 divide, or a minority/majorityThanks once again
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (16 March 2011):
Well it is really hard to say - so my advice would be dont expect anything at all then you cannot be disappointed!
When I went to university a few years ago (I am 23 now) I had a boyfriend, but because of the long distance and the new life that I had at uni we split up after I had been at uni for about 3 months.
In terms of people I knew at uni, a lot of them had a similar situation to me where they had boyfriends at the start of uni but because of the distance and changes to their lives it just didnt work out. A small few kept the same boyfriends from their home towns, but not many!
It is really really difficult going to uni with a girlfriend/boyfriend from back home who is not at the same uni - you change so much as a person that you simply grow apart. And then add in long distance and its not at all easy to maintain a relationship - so I definitely suggest that you stay single until you are at uni because you will only be creating problems for yourself if you ask a girl out now.
As for the number of single girls when you get to uni - there will be some, dont worry. And within the first 3-6 months of uni there will be a massive increase in single girls, as this is the prime time when they split up with their boyfriends from back at home.
Try not to think about it too much, you will meet LOADS of new people at uni, some will be single and some you wish were single - but that is life. Sometimes you meet an amazing person and they are taken, but then you also meet great people who are single.
Just go to uni with the expectation that you are going to meet lots of new people and have lots of fun, and anything else that comes along is a bonus. Going to uni is the easiest time of your life to meet girls, especially in your first year because you are all in the same situation - in a new place away from all your old friends so everyone is really friendly and will talk to anyone.
Dont over-think the dating situation at uni, it really is nothing to concern yourself with. There will be single girls, there will be girls with boyfriends - you will meet them all and I am sure there will be a single girl there for you to date.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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