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Invited to the reception but not the wedding. How rude.

Tagged as: Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 May 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 May 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I got an invitation to my cousin's wedding reception, but not her to actual wedding. She didn't go to my wedding or reception last August. I don't want to go to her reception, she's a spoiled little snob, and she treats ppl. like crap. My mom got a wedding and reception invite from her and it said it was a "private" wedding. I have 2 babies, and I don't want to have to pay a sitter, go buy a dress and shoes (I have no dress clothes) and give her a money gift. However, her sister's wedding is 2 months after hers, and she and I grew up close like sisters. She is a really nice person and I will go to hers. What should I do in this situation? Do you think it's rude that she sent my mom a wedding invite but not me?

View related questions: cousin, money, wedding

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A female reader, Twirly United Kingdom +, writes (8 May 2008):

Twirly agony auntHi There,

I totally know what you mean! Ive been in this situation before as my cousins are a lot like this!

I agree with the otehr posters who suggest sending a polite rsvp declining. Send it back, get a card to give to your Mum to take from you and forget all about it!

Families! Who'd have them! :o) xx

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (8 May 2008):

Tisha-1 agony aunt"Dear Cousin X,

"Thank you so much for your your kind invitation to the reception following your wedding. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend. I do wish you all the best on your wedding and future together!"

"Sincerely,

"Cousin Y."

Send a small gift if you can, if she sent you one. If she didn't, then you're off the hook.

Sometimes really big family weddings mean that the line has to be drawn somewhere, and cousins are often excluded, but aunts and uncles are included. Don't take it personally, she may be a big talker, but the church may not have room for a large crowd.

And try to be the grown up one, even if she isn't! You can still go to your other cousin's wedding, presuming you get invited. Again, don't take it personally. I did not invite my cousins to my own wedding. We just aren't close and I needed to keep the guest list small. The fact that you're invited to the reception is a good thing at any rate. It may just mean the church is really really small.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008):

Thanks guys. I wasn't sure if I was just being over-sensitive, but I wouldn't dream of doing that at my wedding!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008):

it is rather rude, but its understandable if shes a snobby rude person. dont go 2 her reception, but send her a gift so she will feel embarassed about it. go 2 her sisters wedding and make her jealous (i dont kno how but jus lol)

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