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female
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anonymous
writes: i met him in a textchat room, we got on so well, we exchanged mobile numbers. that was nearly a year and a half ago now. we texted and chatted every day, then we started phoning each other. We arranged to meet up several times but then there would be some problem on his side and we would need to re arrange. Then a fortnight ago it happened, he took the day off work and we met half way between our home towns as we live around 2 hours car journey apart. We spent a fantstic day together, when we chatted the day after we both said their were strong feelings on both sides. but then everything started to go wrong. He rang and said there was something he needed to tell me, he was older that what he had said (he told he was 42, im 36) in fact he is 50. after some upset mainly at the thought he had lied to me for so long, i decided it wasnt a problem, i had fell for him not how old he was. Next problem came, he had told his 18 year old daughter about us and he was planning on spending one night a week with me and saturday afternoon until monday morning, she didnt take it well, she got upset thought she was losing her dad. But he assured me it would be ok. i invited him over that friday night but he couldnt come, i have to drop my daughter off at a party was his excuse, we had an almighty row and i told him it was over, but he rang back sent emails please dont go he loves me and wants to be with me. so on the sunday i sent him a text message come over tonight we can talk and try and sort this out, his reply was he had a problem with his car. Now i cant help thinking are they all excuses?? does he really want to be with me?? it has even crossed my mind that maybe he does but cant, maybe he is already with someone else??? please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni plucked up the courage to ask him,are you involved with someone thats why you couldnt come to see me??? he now claims that i went cold since he told me the age difference, and the more he thinks about it the more he realises that it wont work!! he has strong feelings for me, but he thinks we should just be friends
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (23 May 2006):
 You already know he told porkies about his age. There could be any number of other things he's lying about!
Like the others, I believe this guy is in a relationship, but was so excited by the thrill of an illicit meeting that he tried to pretend he was single. Now he's been backed into a corner about it, he's throwing out every half-assed lie he can think of.
His 18-year-old daughter needs to be taken to a party? Get real...
Sorry, hon. This guy's a capital-L loser. I'm sorry that it took so long to find out.
Don't be mad, because the bitterness just eats at you. Instead, resolve not to make this mistake again, and move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2006): Maybe he didn't know what to tell his wife......
pretending to be single is easy over the internet
and curiosity got the better of him so he just had to meet you. but in the end he isn't free to be with you?
Maybe his daughter just isn't ready for another woman in her Dad's life just as he said........
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2006): The problem with the internet is people can pretend to be who they really want to be. You will never get to fully know somebody over the internet unless you meet them in person as well. And meet friends and family who can vouch for them,
Good luck
xx
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A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (22 May 2006):
 Maybe he is with someone else? I have to admit when I read the first part of your post that is what crossed my mind.
There seems to be a lot of lies and confusion and him not really being on the level.
There are a hell of a lot of excuses, some of which don't really make a lot of sense.
Ie. the fact he had to take a day off work to see you, surely he has a weekened or an RDO he could see you on, perhaps he was hiding it from his wife/partner who thought he was at work at the time or why couldn't he drop his daughter off at her party and then meet you half way between the party and your place for a drink or a meal? or if the daughter was so against all this, why didn't he invite you over one night to meet for an hour and help her get used to the idea like a normal divorced/single mum or dad would.
None of the excuses really add up in my book!!!
I would follow your gut instinct on this one - if it sounds fishy and you are suspicious, perhaps it is a bit dodgy. My instinct is that it sounds odd and it sounds like he is most likely already in a relationship.
I would consider confronting him if you are still unsure, or tell him that you will come to his place if he has so many issues with his car and see what he says etc, or alternatively just leave him be.
You don't want to be chasing after someone else's bloke and besides you want someone who is honest right?
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