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I'm worried he's just using me!

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 March 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 2 March 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

ok so ive been with my boyfreind nearly 6months... and he fingered me about 2 days ago for the 1st time... his fingerin me everyday since then :/.... and i dont mind to be honest even though his leavin me a lil bit sore... but o well... the thing im worried about is the fact that his gonna just use me for the fingerin and that :/ like today i think he wanted to tease me but he gave thoughts in my head that he just wants to do it and wen he cant be bothered anymore he will stop... :/

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2011):

k_c100 agony auntWell think about it this way - when he 'fingers' you, it is supposed to be pleasurable for you, so why would he use you for something that has no impact on him? Its not like he is making you give him blow jobs, hand jobs or pressuring you for sex is it? He is just trying to make you enjoy yourself!

You have been together 6 months and have only just started doing this, so I think you are fine, he is not using you. If he was he would not have stuck around for this long.

If he is making you sore then tell him - you are supposed to be in a relationship and as part of relationships you need to talk to each other! So if it hurts, just say that you really enjoy him doing that but it hurts when he does it every day so can he do it a bit less frequently?

Presuming he is the same age as you, then really he is just a teenage boy who is getting to be sexually active with his girlfriend for the first time, he is probably just a bit too eager! Teenage boys get very excited about these sorts of things, and it will be a novelty for him at the moment. As your sex life progresses it will get better and he wont be quite so keen on doing the same thing every day. But for now, just talk to him and tell him how you feel. He wont want to hurt you so just explain he is doing it a bit too much and you would prefer it to be a bit less frequent.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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