A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in this relationship for four years now and we have been like a married couple for years now. I am wondering if it has lost its magic now. He's extremely busy at work because he thinks he needs to work hard. He complains that he's poor every day. We don't get to live together and we don't get to spend much time together anymore. Nowadays we only get to have an-hour lunch once every week. Our texts every day are now only less than 10 texts. All his messages are: 'lunch meeting now', 'meeting now', 'so busy today'...I can't remember how many times I have been crying for help that I really feel very lonely and really need his attention. Very recently I was facing a huge problem and for the second time he abandoned me to face it all alone. When I told him I need his support, he didn't comfort me and offer me any opinions to help my situation, as a matter of fact, he reacted very aggressively and told me off that he was busy and he couldn't be there for me. Today, as usual, cold messages like "meeting lunch", "extremely busy day". Then in the evening I told him I am really feeling sad. And again, he reacted very aggressively, non-stop verbally abusing me. He told me he didn't understand my presence in his life and he felt that I was pressuring him by telling him I was not feeling happy with my life. I don't understand how I am pressuring him? I just told him I am sad. That's all. And he went all crazy and sent so many messages. He then accused me of being with my ex and turning off my phone which are all false. In short, we argue every day. He's not bothered what I am doing and how am I doing. I just have to keep quiet and every time I say something, he would just lose his temper and I always have to be patient and keep quiet. I am really tired. In fact, this time around is the second time he's really driving me crazy. I really can't take it anymore. This is the second time that I really feel so depressed because of him. I cannot take it so much that I really feel so numb with my life. I really love him. He's my rock. But is it sufficient to be patient and put up with all these arguments and his temper. Would someone get that frustrated that even though you really love him so much, you just need to let him go? I would appreciate outsiders' opinions on this.
View related questions:
at work, depressed, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (13 February 2014):
 I fear your relationship is over. It could not be worse, and - please excuse-me - but it as no consistency anymore. You are less than a girlfriend for this man.
You'd better look for another life, even if it seems super-hard now. You are not born to be sad, and don't forget you are still very young. It's time to start a new happy life with somebody who will love you for real.
Don't lose your time waiting and hoping for no miracle will ever happen, don't lose your time because life is short (and youth even shorter)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2014): Going to agree with sageoldguy, this doesn't sound like a relationship at all, much less like a married couple! Married couples often go through spells of being without that "spark" but there are some core things that don't go away. Such as presence and interaction. This guy may not be a terrible person, but he is treating you in a terrible way if he's supposed to be your "rock". You can't force him to reciprocate, you've tried talking to him, I recommend breaking it off as well.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (12 February 2014):
 I read your submittal.... twice. Neither time did I come away understanding that you were describing a "relationship." If you think that's what you are "in," then I have some disappointing news for you.... You're not.
Good luck..
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2014): Your relationship has reached it's expiration date.
You've been with this guy probably since you were around 18. He doesn't seem to be contemplating taking the relationship any further than where it has come; so he probably wants out. He knows breaking up with you is going to be very dramatic. He's just not up for that.
He's waiting for you to be the one to break it off. That makes it easier for him; because he can go no-contact. He can always say, it was your choice. He's off the hook guilt-free! He doesn't have to look like the bad-guy.
He's a rock alright. Stone-cold and hard as granite. You told him you're sad, and he yells at you. How much can you take before you crack? How desperate are you for a boyfriend that you'll cling to a guy who doesn't care how you feel? He's just not that into you anymore.
This dance of misery is going to go on and on. Fighting is a sign it is drawing to a close. Don't think for one moment I don't empathize with how you feel. You can't get blood out of rock. No matter how much you plead. You're now going beneath your dignity. This is where it stops.
You have attempted to talk it out. He was unsympathetic, calloused, and annoyed. That can be interpreted as his feelings as far as your relationship is concerned. He's finished.
Gather your strength, prepare for the painful grief, and dump him like a sack stones. You won't feel that much worse than you feel now. What's the point of declaring how much you love someone who isn't reciprocating? You're wasting your feelings and your time.
...............................
|
