A
female
age
30-35,
*uth2203
writes:My mother has battled with her weight for as along as I can remember ( am now 20) she has been using weight watchers and has lost over 4stone over about three years. I am one of her three daughters and the youngest and recently had to move home , as my student house was becoming unbearable. Growing up I had problems gaining weight , and was a size 6-8 in early teens , howvever as soon i hit 18 i discovered alcohol , with my student diet i soon bloomed to a size 12. I have been unhappy for a while , and suggested to my mum that we went to weight watchers together. And living with her surely would make planning meals easier.. obviously not in her case , she said that it was too expensive and that it wouldn't work for me. I started to look at gyms , and she didnt like that idea , saying it was too expensive and i wouldn't go. Enough is enough and I am fed up of my self esteem hitting rock bottom. So my boyfriend offered to pay for weight watchers until I was back on my feet financially. I told my mum , and he said that it was a bad idea and a waste of my time and that it wouldnt eat. But ive carried on , living in the same house , she does the food shopping . I feel im getting little support in the family. I offered to go weight watchers with her , dieting for many years im sure she has plenty of tips under her belt . But shes not willing to share or help , and i feel very alone. When i tried talking to her all she did was moan and didn't think it was a good idea. Then went on to to tell how the rest of my life was such a mess. I am unhappy about over weight , fed up of being self concious and unhappy. So im off to do some thing about it , if its wrong then so be it ! I just wish I had the support from her!
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female
reader, Battista +, writes (6 June 2011):
OP you don't need to join a gym or go to Weightwatchers if you really are that motivated to lose weight. Why don't you start running, or even just going for brisk regular walks? This doesn't need to cost anything, and will also have the benefit of making you fit as well as getting a bit of fresh air. Covering one mile, either by running or walking, burns around 100 calories, which soon adds up. At that rate, 35 miles equals 1lb of fat, so if you went for a good one-hour walk every day I'm sure you would soon see results. Or how about looking for free tennis courts (we have some in our park), or just throwing a frisbee around, something like that. Push ups and sit ups are also really good forms of exercise which you can do at home for no cost. They will also give you core strength instead of just cardio. I always prefer exercising to going on diets if possible as I think it is a more sustainable way to lose the weight, as well as having added health benefits.
Gyms and Weightwatchers are expensive- our council gym is about £30 a month which soon adds up, especially if you are expecting your mum to pay for it (you don't mention who is going to pay). Having said that, if you are a student maybe you have a gym on campus? The one at my uni was excellent and heavily subsidised so students could afford to go. But, my gut feeling is that you don't need to pay if you want to lose weight. You just have to be motivated. If you're not motivated to lose the weight then obviously it's not bothering you all that much. I'm not sure quite how bothered you are about losing the weight because you only seem to want to do via some method which costs money (not your own). If that's the case then it isn't fair to expect your mother to pay for you if you are not motivated to make an effort yourself.
Nb. On re-reading I note you wanted some tips from your mum regarding losing weight. I don't think there are any tips to share other than the basic ones of eat better and exercise more. It's very straightforward but simply requires determination and hard work.
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (5 June 2011):
 I agree with Chigirl.
At a size 12, really you are nowhere near overweight anyway. She may well feel you dont need to loose any weight and that by saying you are overweight at a size 12, she may actually feel insulted by that, because you are implying that you are fat. How big is she compared to you now?
I wish I was a size 12. I have been struggling with my weight for years, but it just doesnt seem to shift, no matter what I do, diets, exercise, anything. It makes me very sad and depressed.
I dont think you realise how lucky you are, to have a mother who loves you enough to support you and look after you and to have a boyfriend who would PAY for you to go to weight watchers.
How would you be if you didnt have him? You were in a shared house having to buy your own food, with little money? Having to eat crap food? Your mother will not be buying the kind of food students live off,( which generally is pretty bad for you).
You have a lot to be greatful for, dont throw this back in her face.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011): There's the treadmill in the gym and weights and all. I think you should start with a treadmill. You run on a treadmill. Right? And its not necessary to run on the machine. Many people in this world can't afford it. So, they run in parks, on the sidewalk in the morning and all. So, you can start with running. It'll build up you're stamina also. You can start with a slow jog and choose a spot whichs gonna be the finish line. Slowly, after months, when you think you're not getting tired try to run faster and continue the speed for another month and then so on. Do it for 5 months without skipping, if you really desire to lose weight. Its an advantage that you'll have open space and fresh air.
Hope it helps. All the best.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 June 2011):
 Good for you that you're doing something to help yourself and better your life. But don't sulk after attention. You do this for YOU right, not to impress anybody. Grown up people need to carry on on their own, and if we have someone to support us we can count ourselves lucky. If not, it's just the regular. It's nothing to feel sorry about yourself for if you don't have support from your family, for heavens sake you have massive support in your boyfriend! You're amongst the few lucky ones in the world.
I could tell you some real nice stories that beat yours about what people need to get themselves through without any support, and they did it. Maybe you should find a source of inspiration, rather than make yourself all upset because of something like this. People aren't always going to care what you do, and that's just how it is. Nothing to be getting upset over. Your mother took you back in to live with her, and here you sit and tell us how little she supports you? She could have refused to take you in, do you even pay her any rent? Do you pay for the food and electricity? Do you realize just how convenient your life is when you have a mother to move back in with when life gets rough?
I'm sorry, but I need to give you some tough love here. You're living a blissful life, and struggle a bit with your weight, you have a mother who took you back home when you had a bad time at the student home, and a boyfriend who pays for your weight watching membership. That's a heck of a lot to be grateful for, I hope you appreciate it soon.
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