A
female
age
36-40,
*ez7
writes:hello,ive been with my partner for nearly 3 years a lot has happened between us, good and bad, and i feel completely comfortable and happy when im with him. everything feels right with him. but because of his background with women and my inexperience in relationships i think i made a lot of mistakes throughout the relationship, little insecurities, jealousy etc. i have never been disloyal or anything though, i love him terribly.but half a year ago he left me saying he needed to sort himself out but still wanted to be with me,(he often said he didnt want me but afterwards just said he was angry and apologised) but now we live apart and are in contact, but i rarely see him. i guess i just feel that im pushing him away but im trying to do everything not to. i know i have a lot to learn but do you think ive lost my chance at saving this.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 November 2012):
 It's not your fault and you are not pushing him away
he's danging you by a thread of hope....
personally if after a 3 year relationship and 6 months apart if he says he does not know what he wants, he's LYING.
He wants you to be available for him to fall back on in case he can't find "something better"
I'd not contact him.
I'd get on with my life
do not jump at his beck and call and be busy the next couple of times he asks to see you (esp. always be busy when he calls for a spur of the moment visit) and NO SEX.
then you can see what will be.
if he steps up his game, let him.
if he doesn't contact you, well that's your answer.
best of luck.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 November 2012):
 You need to stop blaming yourself for everything that has happened. You never done anything wrong. Okay yes you may have got jealous and you may have been insecure but there where obviously reasons why you felt like this, are you sure your partner is not just making you feel like you are to blame? I can understand that you are at a loss here because he is your first true love and you are unsure how to fix this, but to me it sounds like he wants to distance himself from you for whatever the reason is, my advice would be not to chase him. Give him the space and if it is meant to be he will come back, don't contact him first let him be the one to contact you and be firm and strong with him, if he is not wanting to be with you then you need to stand your ground and say that no contact is the best thing for you so you can get over him. He needs to chose either he wants to be with you or not, you need to make it clear to him that you are not going to be there part time for him. Good luck.
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