A
male
age
41-50,
*ye123
writes:Dear cupid.Im gay and have recently met a guy in which I work with. We became freinds and 3 months later we both realised we liked eachother and began flirting. I then found out he was seeing someone and had a boyfriend already for 8 months.This boyfreind is very jealous of us even when we were freinds.I understand this to some extent however this jealously makes us feel unconfortable. I was strong enough to overcome this and move on however we remained freinds.recently this month my friend had a bereevment and purely as freind I stuck by him and helped him. However the attraction between us, came back and he began to play and I gave in to my honesty. we then began to see eachother behind his boyfriends back. I feel very guilty and as if Im a cheat. Ive explained its not fair on anybody, however we seem to be so in love that nothing seems to matter. I hate the thought of sharing this person and feel like Im being hurt all the time because I cant be with this person. I feel that everything is forbidden. I dont know which way to turn or what to do. As much as I love the person and want one day for us, to work or be together...I know that I have to do something before things get too far or out of hand. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Amber37 +, writes (13 October 2008):
I do empathise but it's the old adage again 'having your cake and eating it' - what incentive is there to leave his current partner if he can have you both? If you ask him to make a choice be prepared that you might not be this choice but at least you will know and hopefully move on and meet someone worthy of your devotion who can fulfill your needs to the exclusivity of others. Most of us experience this pain at some time, unfortunately some of us more than others, I am going through the same myself and I wish you all the best in resolving it.
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