A
male
age
30-35,
*Nick
writes:I'm struggling a little bit on how/if I should tell her I feel about her.My friends already refer to us as going steady. I wouldn't quite push it that far, but within the last month and a half, from the time we met, to now, things quickly escalated from 'accidentally' seeing each other every week, to messaging till the wee hours of the morning daily, to her coming over a few times a week, to now, frequent phone calls.Unfortunately, as things were getting a little more serious, we left for Christmas break, and due to family/logistical circumstances, it's not really possible to see her for the next few weeks.We've very casually started tossing ideas of spending New Years together, so that will most likely be the next time I see her. The alternative is I have friends in her area and was going to get a rental car to drive out to see them and see her on the way.By this point, I'm almost certain she'll reciprocate my feelings, but I'm not sure how to articulate them. I'm a big proponent of not playing games and just being as direct as one can as far as relationships go, so I want to tell her. I also, on a basic level, detest messaging and prefer face to face communication. She is very shy, and thus preferred messaging, so because I like her, went along with it. But I don't want to relay any information like this over messages, or even the phone. I want it done face to face.I was thinking waiting until new years might not be all that bad, but, especially with us not being able to see each other for a few weeks, I don't want her to get bored, or think that I'm not sharing feelings for her, and that maybe the next time we speak, I should get it out of the way.What do y'all think?Thanks,Nick.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2015): My advice is that the longer the both of you put it off, the more chance nothing will happen. Go for it, but don't do it out of the blue. I understand that it is passed NYE, but if you have not told her yet, then find a date to set the mood right, and tell her.
Encourage her to come out of her shell and talk to you face-to-face. I know this is not ideal for her, but if you two are to be a couple, you need to be able to communicate face-to-face comfortably. When she speaks, give her positive encouragement - not the type where you go "Well done!" every time she speaks though! When she has something to say, use your body language to show you are interested. This will help boost her confidence.
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