A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a US service member serving my 2nd tour Iraq, I was recently informed by e-mail from a young woman who knows my wife that she's been cheating with her brother, while I've been gone. I love my wife, but what should I do, leave or work this out? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFisrt I would like thank all of the responders. Their insight was very helpful, and comforting. I have learned to rely more on God than my own wisdom. I will trust in him and his grace to see me through this, again thank each of you for your insight, and although I hate being in Iraq, it's a true honor to serve wonderful Americans.
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (11 May 2007):
 It's not like you don't have enough stress in your life without your "friend" filling your ear with something that's going on between her brother and your wife (if it is the truth). I don't know what kind of friend does that. It's really not her business to begin with. . . and she isn't doing you any favor, that's for sure.
If I were you, I'd try to put it out of your mind until you return. You can discuss your relationship with your wife then. If you can't wait, tell her you heard a rumor and you wanted to know what's going on.
Good luck . . . and thanks for your service to our country.
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A
female
reader, Midge  +, writes (11 May 2007):
 Being away from home for a long period of time is hard on both you and your wife. This is absolutely no excuse for her behaviour, "IF THIS IS TRUE".
Can you trust this person that gave you the information? You need to be 100% sure before you jump into the fire!
If she has cheated on you, what do you want to do? Each of us will have our own take on this, and if it were me, I wouldnt want someone back that I couldnt trust. But I know that giving someone a second chance is also something that needs to be considered. How do you feel about it? If you do give her a second chance, she needs to be made 100% aware that there is NO 3rd chance, and that if she does it again, ITS OVER!
You are so far away from your family and you will need your families support when you do finally go home, so perhaps under the conditions you should consider having a heart to heart with her when you get the time to.
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A
male
reader, sleepyhollow  +, writes (11 May 2007):
Thank you for your service, and I'm sorry that you've received such an email.
My recommendation is that you disregard it for now. It may be an attempt to trip you up, or maybe even a play to mess up your marriage. But it is not uncommon for service spouses to cheat while their most significant other is deployed. It is tragic that some people get all wrapped up in themselves that they will cheat on their spouse who is deployed to a combat zone.
You have available to you a chaplain. If you truly to seek wisdom and counsel, go see him first. And if any real evidence comes to light, discuss this with a military attorney regarding getting a divorce. Your service and dedication deserve so much more and something better.
Good luck. God bless. And stay safe!
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