A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Just looking for a bit of advise. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 1/2 years now. I know its perfectly healthly in relationships to have up's and downs but at the moment i'm finding things hard. I've expressed how I feel to him and he's said that he understands and that he will makes things better. But the only problem with this is that I've heard it all before yet were here again in the situation. At what point do I say enough is enough? We can be extremely close but he always other things to get in the way and can be selfish at times. I just wanna feel like a priority of his again rather than just a convience. Because he has said to me in the past that things will get better but the same problems have arised weeks later, I feel like I need to drum into him that I'm not happy but the things which cause this unhappyness can be sorted with just a little bit of effort. When do I know that I've said enough to him to make him realise that I'm serious? Thanks for any advise given. Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2007): Oh my god this sounds like my problem too. I have been with a fantastic man for the past 10 months, we are both 52. I have never loved anyone so much, he says the same of me, except that his wife died many years ago, and he did love her too. I have come to see that he never makes me a priority, he puts everything else first, friends family,work, everything, and I have realised I am just being used as a convenience when he wants sex or nights out with a partner. I am never included in family events and as much as I love this man, I have got to walk away before I become a doormat. It is going to be really painful but I have to do it. He cant see the problem himself, no because I have always since day one, let him have his own way. I dont understand what more he could want in a relationship, we are perfect for each other. I think some men just want a convenient girlfriend and are commitment phobic. I have one of those, but not for much longer.
A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (14 May 2007):
 Actually there are different patterns of relationship.
In wave-like relationship type you have ups and downs.
However, this is not the case with the situation you are now.
Some relationships begin as troubled and continue as such for a while until both partners are ready to search for midpoints.
"I just wanna feel like a priority of his again" - why AGAIN?
You mean things were "all correct" for you in the beginning?
If it's true, he lost motivation for "a little bit of effort"
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