A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My daughter broke up with her fiance about eight months ago, it was just a case of them drifting apart which happens often in relationships. My daughter's ex is very attractive and clever and I was sad to see him go as he acted like a true gentleman and was very nice to look at. About four months ago, I ran in to him in the supermarket. We had a brief chat and then carried on with our business. Upon exiting the supermarket, we ran in to each other again. As I only live round the corner from the supermarket I asked him if he wanted to come round to my house so I could return a book he had let me borrow some months before. He said yes. While I was in the house looking for his book I asked if he would make me a cup of tea and make one for himself if he wanted. When I got back to the kitchen he handed me my cup of tea. I cannot deny that I was mentally undressing him. I knew it was wrong. I told him that now I'm living on my own that it gets boring and I don't have many friends in the area so it's also a bit lonely. Then, to my amazement, he asked me out to dinner. At first I said no but he explained that it would be completely on a friendship level as we are both a bit lonely at the moment and we have always got on. I agreed.That Friday night, he took me to a very nice restaurant. I admitted to him that, even though it was only as friends, I was very nervous as I hadn't been taken out by a man for quite a few years. He told me that there was no need to be nervous, just enjoy myself. He was very reassuring and put me at ease. We had a great evening and I was very excited when he asked me out again. So, we went out together every weekend as friends. I didn't tell my daughter about it as I was worried it it would upset her. During one of our 'dates', we decided that he wouldn't drive me home but we'd get a taxi. I thought it was only fair so he could have something alcoholic to drink. We had a great night. Neither of us got drunk but we had enough to drink and he had a great laugh. While we were walking to the taxi rank I decided to go for broke and held his hand. He turned and smiled at me. While we were in the taxi I decided to go for broke again and asked him if he wanted to come in and have a few more drinks and watch a film. He said yes! When we got in the house I grabbed him and kissed him straight away. We started tearing each other's clothes off and I dragged him upstairs to my bed. It had been years since I had intercourse with anyone and it felt amazing. We made love all night and all the next day. We have been together since then. He still takes me out to dinner, buys me presents, takes me on weekends away and I think I am having more sex now that I have ever had in my life! He treats me how I expect to be treated as a lady. I have fallen deeply in love with him and he has with me and I don't care what anyone thinks about the age difference, I'm 44 and he's 26. But there are two problems. First, I cannot get pregnant anymore, which does make the sex more fun, but I'm worried that one day he will want children. He says that he is happy just to have me. Second, my daughter. She doesn't know about it. I'm scared to death that I'll lose my daughter if I tell her about me and her ex. But I think fair is fair and we got together after they had broken up. Should I tell her and what about my fears of him leaving me because I can't have children? Please help!
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alcoholic, broke up, drunk, fiance, her ex, want children Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (16 February 2009):
 Annon,
A bit harsh I would say, guess thats why we dont know who you are. Foolish this lady might well be, but I dont think your advice was very helpful in making such a hard decission. Of course she should have thought of her daughter, but when you fall in love that can fly out of the window.
Just thought I should add this.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): Ewwww. Im a 28 year old woman and if my mum hooked up with my ex I would NEVER speak to her again.
Not only is it morally wrong to have sex with someone your daughter LOVED enough to want to marry its just plain sad and pathetic.
Older woman who are desperate enough to hook up with young men make me both laugh and cringe at the same time.
Enjoy your daughters sloppy seconds while you can, in time he will get tired of you and your saggy bits.
Ps your daughter is better off without the both of you. Despite what you say about him (he is amazing blah blah)he must be a total loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, Krissypro89  +, writes (13 February 2009):
I would just cut off all ties. This is not right. You know it. It's fun for now but do you want all the anguish between you and your daughter? Is this man really worth it?
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A
female
reader, nokutenda  +, writes (13 February 2009):
tell her you are seeing her ex.she will be angry and will feel betrayed but with time she will let go. it was wrong of you to do that to her.its wise to tell her before she hears it from someone else. if she has someone in her life now and is happy chances are she will soon get over it.about him leaving you because you can't have children, you shouldn't worry too much about it- just enjoy the time you are spending together because even if you are able to have children a guy can still leave you
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (13 February 2009):
Oh dear!!
You dont need me to tell you that this was a line you should not have crossed. If my Mum told me she was seeing my ex I would be totally grossed out and embarassed by her.
But thats all a bit to late because you have fallen for him. I dont think that the not having children problem would brake you up if you were a simular age, but lets be honest you are almost old enough to be his Mum so the chances of it surviving are not good anyway.
That said! stranger things do happen. And if you are both that committed, then who knows it could work.
But you really owe it to your daughter to be honest with her, because she will be the one that picks up the peices if it goes wrong.
If it were me, I wouldnt have done it. But I would certainly be honest with my daughter if I had.
You do risk losing her, but then you must have thought of that when it started. With any luck she wont care and will understand that its something that just happened.
I have my fingers crossed for you. XX
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