A
female
age
30-35,
*oya4u
writes:Actually I am in a trouble. Opposite to my PG one guy is staring. At the very first time he used to stare at me and one night he was coming along with his friends and i was talking on phone he called me by making some noise. I got scared and ran away and called my friend. She came to the terrace that time that guy was waiting for me to ask something by seeing my friend he stood there for sometime and stared at us and after that went inside. This was the first incident in between us. After that whenever he was coming out i will be running coz i was scared of him. On valentines day me n my friend was standing on balcony he came out and gave a flying kiss, i was stunned and didn't look at his face at all. But he stood there for long and staring at me as if he wanna ask something,but he didn't.After that daily i am seeing him but never talked. One day accidentally talked to him in a normal way. After that whenever seeing me he used to say just a hai. After some days I left that place while going i informed him that i am leaving for a trip his face got dull but he suddenly smiled and said good good go and enjoy.. Again after 6 months i went back to the same place I saw him again. By seeing me he was happy and asked me will you be here for permanently? Yes I said. Now also we are seeing each other and saying just hai n bye, but one day i was going out and he was standing there and i didn't look at his face coz my mood was not good. Suddenly he got angry and he closed his flat's door with a bang.!! I got scared.The very next day he took a beautiful girl to that flat and next day some other girl. Don't know who they are his friends also staying with him. Again yesterday he saw me by seeing him don't know i got laugh and he also smiled at me like a kid as if a small fight has faded away. But the problem is I am scared of his behavior. He is some what fighting nature i guess and short tempered as well. He is too handsome to get a beautiful girl but why he is following me i don't know? I like him but not ready for a relationship with him because simply scared of getting hurt. Please help me how i can get rid of this relation without hurting him? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MyWay +, writes (23 October 2015):
he must be nothing else but a FLIRT. Don't give him that much space even to say hi-hello... ignore him completely
A
female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (22 October 2015):
 So this man is a neighbor of yours?
The fact that he waits outside to stare at you or follow you is weird and no doubt alarming but unless it is also illegal in your country (i.e., considered stalking or harassment) your options here are probably quite limited. Unfortunately I'm not familiar with the cultural nuances of your country, especially those that govern interactions between men and women, so I have no idea if you can simply walk up to him and tell him to leave you alone without fear of repercussions as one might do in America.
Is moving to a different flat an option for you? That would be my first choice, if his behavior was troubling enough. If this is not possible you should try to be with friends whenever you see him. If he doesn't expect you to be alone he may back off the creepy behavior out of concern that others may notice. I would also make sure that you tell a handful of people you trust what is going on, so if the situation escalates in any way you can demonstrate that his behavior toward you has worried you for some time now.
Hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes!
...............................
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (22 October 2015):
Reading your letter i would understand that this man and you are just saying -hello-nothing more so this would not be considered a relationship.However if you are scared of this man maybe you would consider Not saying hello at all.As he seems to have other women friends i dont think at all that he would be hurt.Perhaps put some distance between the hellos...Best wishes NORA B,
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (22 October 2015):
 While I don't understand the dtails within your overall question, I can tell you that ANYTHING that makes you uncompfortable about anyone is a red flag. Your natural instincts have perked up and made you aware of something(you may not be able to define it to others) but that instinct needs to be obeyed. It can save you from trouble. Act on your instincts. Avoid any interplay with this person.
...............................
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (22 October 2015):
I’m sorry if I’ve missed something in your question but I don’t really understand what the problem is. All you do is say hello and exchange polite pleasantries with each other. You say that he scares you and that you’re not ready for a relationship with him but I don’t see any indications here that he wants a relationship with you anyway. If he scares you, just don’t move the friendship beyond saying hello when you bump in to each other, which is only polite anyway. The fact is that if you’re unsure about some-one, don’t get close to them. It does not sound like you and he are close.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
|
