A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there. I'm a virgin and am in a relationship with my boyfriend of 6 months, who isn't (and who's pretty experienced). I've watched a fair amount of pornography and read a lot about sex, so I'm pretty clued-up about it. But.. I'm really nervous about having sex! I'm sure my boyfriend would be really nice and understanding about it, but I don't understand why I'm so worried - maybe I'm afraid of how... naked it is! In terms of the way you act as well - making noises etc, being so EXPOSED. Does that make sense? It's kinda scary!Anyone got any advice?
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female
reader, myp  +, writes (9 August 2008):
 i know exatly how you feel.. when i was a virgin it all jus seemed so intimate and vulnerable. totally opening yourself to someone else sounds terrifying. However pornography, i have to admit, is not an an accurate depiction of what happens between a couple when you have sex. Now dont get me wrong, theres nothin wrong with porn but it jus lacks the sort of sexy comfortable contentedness you feel when your with your man. If you ready to have sex then make sure you include a lot of foreplay to get you ready and to make you more comfortable about your nakedness before you get to the main event. As for the noise, it comes natural (or it should anyway lol) and its not as embarassing as expected especially since hes gettin off on it.... hell be makin his own noises sweetie
have fun, be safe (condom)
tell him to go slow, it might hurt a lil
message me if you wanna talk xx
-Myesha
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): My girlfriend (now for 6 years) was like that the first time and she even came to a point where she was so scared that she stopped me and asked to do it another day! I understood that and reassured her that it was fine with me, we would be seeing each other a few days after and just asked her to let me know how she's feeling the next time. This made her really happy and made her really comfortable the next time.
My suggestion to you is to talk to your boyfriend beforehand and ask him to "go slowly" as this is your first time; but don't keep worrying about it, just try to enjoy it; if you don't feel comfortable, ask him to postpone it for some other day, if he really cares about you, he will understand...
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A
female
reader, Mushgirl +, writes (9 August 2008):
 Well... obviously you aren't thick enough to let him pressure you into it, so assuming you're more than up for it...
Basically I was a bit terrified first time I did it, about 2 months ago now, but we were both in the mood and it just happened. It hurt a fair bit for about 5 seconds and after that it was just a bit uncomfortable. Now I can't get enough ;) Mind you, I didn't tell my fella I was a virgin, so maybe if you did he would be super-gentle. Just make sure you communicate and make him go s-l-o-w-l-y at first! Good luck xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): Yes, I can understand that you feel scared and nervous; yes it is very intimate and yes it is "exposing" yourself in the most ultimate way; BOTH PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY
The bonding of two to form one;
When you are emotionally and physically ready there is really nothing to be scared of; BUT do not feel pressurised into it when you are not ready;
Have sex when you feel ready; when you want it; not because you feel obliged or pressured.
Best of wishes and lots of SMILES
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A
female
reader, lostone +, writes (9 August 2008):
I understand your concern about the situation. Sex is very naked! It's the most intimate thing you could possibly engage in. That said, I'm sure you care about your boyfriend very much, but giving away your virginity is a one-time thing- make sure that this is the person that you really want that to happen with. Sex will only be good for you if there are strong feelings behind it, especially as your first time can be very painful. Make sure your bf is understanding of that and will treat you with care instead of just doing it the way he wants.
If you're uncomfortable with being naked in front of him, maybe you should climb that hill first before having sex. Being self conscious will only ruin this experience for you. About the making noises and stuff- like I said, your first time might be painful, and you should take it slow. You don't need to worry about screaming in ecstasy just to stroke his ego. Do what comes naturally and just make sure you are very comfortable. You say your bf is not a virgin but if he cares about you, he won't be taking your first sexual experience and trying to compare it to all his other times. This should be special for both of you. I hope everything works out for you!
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A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (9 August 2008):
 If you're scared of sex it means you're not ready.
Why would you be scared if you were going to make love to someone you love and trust?
Answer, you wouldn't.
Sure, everyone is nervous or aprehensive about their first time -- I was -- but it was with someone I loved and trusted and it was special and certainly wasn't scary.
I won't give you the whole lecture about you being too young for sex, but you say your boyfirned is pretty experienced; how experienced? When girls write things like that alarm bells usually start ringing as it usually means the lad wants to get into your pants, f**k you, and then leave you. 6 months is still kind of early to be thinking about sex in a relationship...especially at a young age.
Personally, I don't think you're ready for sex. You should tell that to your boyfriend. If he is prepared to wait then you know he respects your decision and will wait until you're ready.
If he gets upset or angry -- or tells you "you'd do it if you loved me" then dump him. He will have then shown you his true colours.
I have a feeling it will be the latter.
Good luck.
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