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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My cousin wants to restart our sexual relationship, should I give in? My cousin and i have always been very close. He is my best friend and has been all my life. But we are more than that. It started when we were teens and we realized that we liked each other sexually. We only had sex once and then after a few months went years without speaking much at all. We both grew up started families and and in time got back to being friends. Now we have talked about the past and both of us still have the same feelings.We have even kissed and fooled around a little. It fells right, good. He has asked me more than once if I would ever do it again. The thing is I want to but I dont know if I should. all the same feelings are still there, and I know that the sex with him is great. The best Ive ever had. Every guy after him has been compared to him none have measured up.I think about it all the time and im running out of reasons not to give in. Please help me im so torn.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): I don't have a problem with the fact that this guy is your cousin, but what does worry me is that you say you have both started families already. So does this mean both you and he are married to other people and have children? If this is the case then by getting together with your cousin you will be breaking up two marriages/families. You must think extremely hard about this. You don't mention your partner/children at all. Please can we have some more information about this?
A
female
reader, PixiePie  +, writes (6 November 2009):
 To all those small minded aunts that have posted on here (barring a few, I'm not tarring you all with the same brush)sex with your cousin is no more wrong than it is to just have casual sex with any male. yes it depends on what state you live in, in the UK it is legal, but that should be the only bearing "rules" have on your decision.I am in a loving and committed relationship with a wonderful guy, he cares for me, physically and emotionally more than any other guy I have been with, he will be a fantastic husband and a truly amazing father and he happens to be my cousin.but MENTAL, as weparley said, is certainly not even close to it... that is not only disrespectful to the OP, but to me, my family, and anyone else who is in a similar situation. pass judgement you may, but call yourself an agony aunt? your post was no more helpful than if she'd asked the wall, just maybe more abusive!!to the OP, if you truly have feelings for him, and it isn't just lust, then go ahead and have a relationship with him, he is just the same as every other human being on this planet. wonderful things can happen when you listen to your heart, it is your life and no one else's, just make sure you're both being ruled by your heart and not another organ.
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female
reader, Brunette26 +, writes (6 November 2009):
I've lived in the middle east for a while and people their marry their cousins and its totally normal, although I thought it was weird because I'm from California and people their think its eww. Well it's not it's normal and if you had kids your babies will be fine! All the people I've seen there and totally happy with healthy babies. And it seems like you and your cousin are attracted to each other! And I think you should restart the sexual thing again. It seemed to me like you were very very happy back then and if that's what you want then go ahead and do it! It's normal! Your cousin is a human being not an animal or some kind of species and so what if blood is related. Some people may think its disgusting but its not! Just go with it!. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (6 November 2009):
I think you should leave this whole thing in the past. Consider it as a mistake that wont happen again. I will admit that i dont agree with cousins or any relations having sex with each other. The last time you had sex it ended in you not talking to each other for years. You said you have both started families and thats why i feel you should let it go and stay in the past. I wonder if you have a husband or a partner, if you do then i dont think you should cheat with ANYONE cousin or not. I sense alot of trouble will come of this as secrets usually get out. Tell him no and if he keeps on then tell him to back off or you will cut contact. It sounds harsh but he should accept no as your final answer. When you say should you give in it, it does sound like he is pestering you. I think if you 100% wanted to be sexual with him you would have already done it. You are not sure which says to me you dont really want to. Just say no.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): You are looking for a reason not to have sex with your cousin... why not just tell him NO????
Yes, its probably great sex, because what you were doing was wrong, bordering on incestuous....
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (6 November 2009):
 In the rest of the world, apparently there is no taboo against cousins dating; that's been established, so we don't need to start that debate here. That's a note of warning to aunts who post here, by the way. What you are presenting here seems to be a kind of "cousins with benefits" situation, not really a dating relationship. Is this some kind of secret relationship? I would have to say that I'd be over secret sexual liaisons by the age of 25.
I guess I would have to ask you if you could live with the consequences if your family found out. What are the legal constraints on you in your state?
You don't sound like you feel 100% comfortable with this, so my advice would be 'no'. There is that taboo in the US, most families here would frown on it, if the relationship ends badly it really could tear the family apart.
And finally, "running out of reasons not to give in", god, what is he doing, forcing you into some kind of corner where you are FORCED to have sex with him? Sounds very coercive to me. I'd say there are enough reasons for you to say no if you're not 100% confident it's a good idea.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): Technically you won't produce 9-headed babies if you boink your first cousin. I think the inbreeding problems that people joke about are not a real threat unless you do it with a closer relative and/or you do it for more multiple generations.
But is cousin sex socially acceptable? Ummm, no. Not even.
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female
reader, clownzyall +, writes (6 November 2009):
 I'm going to step back and not be judgemental. after all AK, AL, CA, CO, CT, FL, GA, HI, MD, MA, NJ, NM, NY, NC, RI, SC, TN, VT, VA, and Washington DC all allow first cousin marriage. Society may very well look down on it, but you aren't commiting any crimes, and I don't know of any crimes that outlaw a sexual relationship between two concenting adults.
I understand you likely feel very dirty and wrong, but while its not something I can fathom, it is nothing completly good people out there haven't done before. Honestly? Unless a spouse is involved I don't see why you shouldn't follow your heart. You'll get problems from it, but if you truly care for him I'm sure you can endure it.
Best wishes, and while, again- its not something I'd personally ever do its also something I don't completly understand. But you know what it is? Something I can accept. I'm not telling you it is right or wrong for you, thats something no one but you can decide.
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female
reader, lola80  +, writes (6 November 2009):
Unfortuntley we cant help how we feel , but we are in charge of our actions , and if anyone is going to suffer , like partners of relationships you might be in ? or children you might have , well i seriously recommend staying well away from each other as this would tear your family apart , never mind the fact your cousins that is something i have seen familys get over , but not if its a selfish self satisfying bit of sex which will lead to an affair and wont be easy to stop or someone will find out , especially if your in relationships your partners will know your distanced or cold and the guilt that will go with it , to me it sounds like its lust not love !!
Hope you make the right decision
take care
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): Your running out of reasons, well try this one. HEs your COUSIN.
Seriously do you expect us to believe that the only guy for you is your cousin.
Get help and move on.
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A
male
reader, rrated +, writes (6 November 2009):
i dont think that is the rigth thing to do if you are real live blood cusins
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