A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, I am so confused and don't know what to do. I've fallen in love with this guy and sometimes i feel like I shouldn't talk to him. That I might do too much, I may annoy him or disturb him. I think he may think the same way. The problem now is that I feel like we kind of ignore each other and I'm depressed about it. I simply don't know what's going on. I told him on different occasions, when he asked why I stopped calling him, and I told him that I don't want to disturb him as he might be busy. He told me not to worry about that, because he likes it when i call.It's my fault, i know that I'm still doing the same thing, resulting in him to acting the same way. I'm ruining everything. Can that be fixed?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for your help
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 December 2010):
 You are old enough and he kind of knows why you are not calling but you both didn't want to make it obvious. Guys can't trust themselves reading your signals so if you keep this thing vague you may never get him to ask you out, like he should have already if he likes you the same way. How do you get from phone calls to meeting every day? That's the secret here. We are taught that we should wait and let the guys ask first, because they should like us first. Also two people have to be equally in love, 100% into each other to make it work. Sometimes it doesn't work that way. If we are that lucky then I would buy some 649 lottery. Do you just throw away a good friendship because what you have does not match your idealized version of a romantic relationship? How about just being friends now and gradually get to know more about each other before getting too serious about this.
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A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (18 December 2010):
Ofcourse it can be fixed!
First you need to gain a bit of self esteem and self respect. You seem to regard him like some kind of deity compared to yourself. Stop that. You are no less than him and I don´t see any signs in your post he wants you to consider him as more.
Also, he asked why you stopped calling and said that he enjoys your calls! Don´t take that lightly. He´s not saying it to be nice, he´s saying it because he means it.
So call him up, today even! Have a short conversation and when you feel you are running out of things to say, tell him you have to go but that you would like to meet up with him again. Then ask when he´s available.
Come on girl, keep your head high.
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A
male
reader, CJH  +, writes (18 December 2010):
 Keep talking - or try to - be honest with him and hopefully he will afford you the same in return.
It's all too easy to clam up and worry, just as you seem to be doing right now. The conversation then becomes stilted and it ends up being a vicious circle.
Oddly enough, the more you do talk and get to know each other, the more this problem will heal itself. Maybe next time you chat, try to find some common interests. your favourite music or a TV show - or even just local news. Once you get rolling with conversation, over time, things will get easier.
Like I said, keep being honest about how you feel and the relationship should find it's own level. Some people like a lot of contact, others don't - it's something you can only learn from him.
Good luck
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