A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I met someone new about 8 weeks ago. At the start, he was very enthusiastic, texting, ringing me etc. First date went well as did the 2nd. He wasn't free then for a few weeks and I wasn't really sure whether he was into me as much anymore although we have been in contact almost everyday. I'm usually shy but made a effort with this person, replying to his texts, etc. He constantly tells me he finds me attractive and I've told him the same but then he makes excuses not to go out if I suggest something. Anyway we have met up again but I don't know now if it's going to be another few weeks before he decides he's free again. We live in the same town so it's not a question of distance!! Im thinking about just telling him I don't want to see him again. I just wanted to get someone else's opinion on this. Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): It is hard to say what is exactly going on, but the guy is not all that interested in seein you, if he was he would ask you out again after the date you were just on for something in the near future, and if he knew he was going to be out of pocket so to speak for a week or so, he would tell you right then and make a plan to do something when he was available...unless he is the President, if he were really wanting to spend time with you he would.
Here is what I would do if I were in your shoes, you don't have to tell him you do not want to see him again...if you like him and enjoy his company then see him when he asks, but don't give more than he is giving..do not call him, do not text him, do not ask him out to do something, do nothing but answer his calls or return a call, and make him wait a day or so before answering or returning calls...when you speak to him do not say anything like, gee I haven't heard from you in awhile, but me and this guy went out to do xyz last week and it was really fun, have you ever been there? Do not let your phone conversations last longer than 15 minutes, try to get off the phone first by saying you have to go to some activity that you are looking forward to, even if it is going to the gym...guys like to chase, they like to know you have a life outside of dating or looking for a boyfriend and they want to have to work to get access to you....so don't always say yes to a date on the date and time he wants, say no I can't then, but I am available on Fri or Sat, would that work for you? Stuff like that....it seems like a game, but in early dating relationships, it is a good one....people want most what they cannot have...and don't put your eggs all in one basket with this guy, if he isn't showing a lot of interest, then you don't be available, date other men.
A
female
reader, peaches08 +, writes (1 March 2008):
 This sounds awfully close to my situation at the moment with a guy ive been seeing for just about a month now.
Do you know why he cant see you sometimes, ie work?
The guy im seeing has 2 jobs to keep him busy, he has to work hard because of other commitments...
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (1 March 2008):
 I wouldn't bother with him. You want someone who's going to appear enthusiastic about seeing you, not leave you wondering when you're next going to see him!
He sounds like he either doesn;t know what he wants or is enjoying the attention you give him, sounds like a waste of your time!!
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