A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:ok i have a couple ? i hope you can help with all of them! so me and my boyfriend have talked about haveing sex and having a baby even at our age. we've both had sex when we were younger!! we've also both talked about french kissing which ain't a big deal except that i have braces he all the time be sayin that hes scared to french kiss me because of my braces and they might cut his tonge up! it might seem funny but it ain't! i'm kinda scared to french kiss because i'v only frenched kissed someone once and it wasn't him! also we have about 2 weeks left of school and he said he'll try to kiss me on the last day of school and i'm scared. what should i do!! thats the easiest thing to answer we've talked about haveing sex and kids i'm kinda ready to have sex and he says hes ready, he says hes ready to have a baby but sometimes he says hes not that ready to have a baby, just sex! i tell him i'm ready to have sex (and i am) but sometimes i get scared about the feeling of haveing sex cuz i don't know if i'm "good" at it, also sometimes i say i'm ready to have a baby but to tell the truth i don't no if i am. and my mom says if i get pregnant at my age then she'll make me get an abortion and i wouldn't want + she says i'll never leave the house again! if i get pregnant i would want to keep the baby, my boyfriend said that if he got a girl pregnant that he would be mad if she gave it up for adoption or if she got an abortion! he wants a baby and i do to (as long as it's with him) sometimes! we really love each other. this might seem stupid but can you help me to get the answers to my ? and this might seem way stupider but can you give me some "tips" on what to do? Plez i really need some help on what to do!! any advice will help!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2007): how long do have to have sex to have a baby
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2007): AT your age you think you know everything I know this because that's what i thought at that age, to be honest i probably still think that difference being is that I am 27 now and experienced quite abit more in life the good and the bad.
You will do what you want to do but make sure you are informed of all the facts about how you lives could change especially your own (it is always the woman who will suffer the most part of life i'm afraid).
My mum met my dad at 12 they loved each other they had my brother at 15, didn't realise the consequences of sex plus it was there 1st time. Got married at 19 and had me at 20, divorced at 34. I'm not saying that they didn't have a happy life because we did until they where 30ish it's just that we never had money to do things including paying the rent, 3 jobs wasn't enough money.
From a young age my mum had told me what had happened to them to avoid me making the same mistakes but the young know it all that i was managed to get myself pregnant with a guy who said he cared a great deal for me. After telling me to have an abortion and offering to pay for an abortion he drove me to have one and then dumped me for killig his kid. Men can be such B******s they'll say anything to get you into bed but responsibility isn't in their vocablary they never grow up from being kids themselves and i know.
I think you answered your own question in the title of this chat. You said you ready but also maybe your not. If in doubt wait you can always change your mind later but you can't change the fact that you have akid onc it's here. If this lad loves you as much as he says he does then waiting wont be an issue. French kissing with braces is something to focus on at the moment you can sort the rest out later.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2007): ok.... first of all you are way to young to be thinking about sex and way to young to be ruining your life... yeah a baby is the most beautiful thing and i am not saying it is a mistake if you had a baby but think of yourself not of your boyfriend. If he really loved you he would wait for you to tell him when your ready. And you mom, doy uo really want to ruin your relationship with her. Cause i know i wouldnt want that with my mom. Sometimes you just have to make decisions for yourself, listen to what others have to say about this...LISTEM TO YOUR MOM.... Now if you want to have sex use protection!!! Good Luck and i hope you make the right decision
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007): I can't even beleave that you would be considering have a baby at your age, actually I can I was there once. Let me tell you a little story, and yes I know what you will be thinking the whole time, Yeah that was you your a crazy women and my man loves me and he would never lie to me or hurt me,Well listen up hunny.
I was a 14 year old girl who had a messed up home life my mom was a drunk as well as my step dad, they would get drunk every night and beat the crap out of each other in front of me and it was aweful, I never was told who my real father was and I still have not been told. The one thing I did know(or I thought I did) was that I was never going to live like that and I was going to find a wonderful man. Well that day finally came when i meet what I thought was mister right, at the time I was 14 and he was 24, I fell in love with him and we kept our relation ship secret, we had plans of getting married when I graduated from high school and starting a family. THANK GOD MY MOM FOUND OUT, oh my god was I a dumb kid, you think your right and everyone is out to get you and your gonna do what you want to do. Yeah I was mad that my mom found out and that I couldn't see him, I thought I would die, Well after a while you forget and get back to being a kid which that is what I was. Now 10 years later I could not be more thankful that they relation ship ended. So take it from a girl who has lived that life before, he will say what he wants to get what he wants and you will not beleave everyone until it is to late, until you get pregnant and he leaves you and your sitting all alone holding your baby wondering how you got there. I could go on and on and I am sure nothing I say will change your mind, but just remember a baby is not something that you can send back when you get sick of it, being a mother is a lifetime, life long job that is on going 24/7 until the day you die.
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A
female
reader, miss fit  +, writes (9 May 2007):
your to young to apply for benefits, your bf coulod end up in prison and your going to end with no education. get some birthing tapes. watch them. make your boy friend watch them too. plis he's too scard to even kiss you properly. wow what a great guy.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (9 May 2007):
 Good Lord, you are afraid to french kiss but you have no qualms about having sex? You aren't even a teenager yet! Why don't you do some babysitting just to see a snap shot of the work involved in childcare? Please give me your mom's phone number she needs a heads up, big time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2007): Hey i don't want to upset you or sound like some know it all, i'm only 23 myself so its not like i'm some oldie who just doesn't understand. Sweet i remember what it's like to be 12 and be totally in love. Me and my then boyfriend thought we were so in love i remember swearing we were going to get married and love each other for ever. How completely wrong were we, we broke up after a year hated each others guts and i don't even think abou him now. I am now happily married with a 3 year old daughter, believe me evan at my age with a steady job and a home that we own having a baby was the most stressful and expensive thing i have ever done in my life. I love my husband more than anything but the stress of having our daughter put alot of pressure on our relationship and at times we wondered if we would last. Please sweet wait, live your life you are soooo young. I still feel like i was tied down to young and i got to live my teenage years. I no if you do get pregnant you will regret it, you will love your child but at times you will resent that child for making you give up so much. And as much as your boyfriend says he loves you, and i don't doubt that he does love you, its a different story when you have that baby and he has to give up his free lifestyle to help you.
You don't have to listen to me but please just think cause once that babys born there is no turning back. Your boyfriend can walk away when ever he wants YOU CAN'T!!! Goodluck and i hope you decide to wait for the right time and the right man.
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A
male
reader, sleepyhollow  +, writes (7 May 2007):
They say that in our youth we believe we know all there is to know about love, about life, and about death.
In our maturity we realize that we don't know jack about any of those, and that we're living life, flying by the seat of our pants alone.
But what we do know, is that what we thought we knew when we were young is almost invariably never the totality of the truth. A fraction, perhaps, if not outright wrong.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionu people don't know what ur fricken talkin bout i love my boyfriend and he lovess me he said that if he got me pregnant he would stay with me no matter what and he wouldn't let nothing happen!!!!! I love him 4-life he loves me 4-life i'm positive about that!!!
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A
male
reader, sleepyhollow +, writes (7 May 2007):
Don't have sex. Don't kiss him or anybody for a few more years.
There is a time and place for things, and right now your only job is only to be a kid. Don't rush to do things adults have trouble dealing with.
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A
female
reader, NJmomabear +, writes (7 May 2007):
 If you can't support yourself, you are not ready to have a baby. If your that desperate to have a family then get a dog or something and share that with him. You have NO idea what your playing with and if you get pregnant, either way its damaging to your mind, body and spirit.
I'm really sorry to hear that your doing this at such a young age, that your parents are so trusting or absent from your life and allowing this. You really need some good guidance from someone in your life right now. I mean you could be taken from you parents at this age still for this...If your not getting what you need from them you need to speak up, not try to make your own family.
As as for this over-concern with pleasing boys sexually, you really need to focus on developing yourself as a person cos after the orgasms are over you still have a life to live and they don't care if you sink or swim in the long run as much as they say they 'love' you. You'll see when it comes time to buy a car or such toys. You'll see where there priorities are and always will be. Don't waste your time on them boys....unless your ok with YOUR life being all about what THEY want.
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