A
female
age
30-35,
*arvelLove
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for two wonderful years, and I couldnt imagine life without him. The only problem is, when he left to go to start some schooling I was lonely and made-out with another man, nothing more than that. I felt horrible for months and I finally confronted my boyfriend. He was upset, but he understood the circumstances and forgave me. I've learned from my mistake and it will never happen again! But after this incident I made myself miserable and feel into a depression because of the guilt that I felt. I no longer linger on the guilt and have learned to put it behind me. But now I'm starting to feel as if I am questioning my love for my boyfriend. I plan on being with him forever, but I feel like my mind won't accept it. I know he is the only one for me and I keep asking myself "Do I really love him?". Is this just a phase due to the mistake I made months ago? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jc82 +, writes (21 January 2010):
 Maybe this questioning is what actually led you to cheat in the first place. You shouldn't just ignore these thoughts completely, and it sounds like you can't if they keep coming up. Don't torture yourself or your boyfriend.
It could be guilt you are feeling, but it could also be genuine doubt. Doubt doesn't always just go away because we want it to. If you consistently doubt your relationship and your feelings for a long time (i.e. a few months in a row), then its not fair to stay with the guy. Explore other options. You aren't married, don't stay with someone out of a sense of obligation.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 January 2010):
This is more about your guilt. It's not really behind you at all. You're still feeling it. Just keep focusing on your relationship and continue to build upon it, and you'll see that it will be okay.
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