A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Please don't judge me, but I am pregnant. It was a mistake, but my own fault. I live with my Grandparents, my parents died. They are really strict. I need to talk to someone and the only person is my Head of Year. She has been really comforting over the past months. I just don't know how to tell her. How could I do it? Please help, and I know I was stupid but that was my fault and I can't change anything now. Xxx Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI spoke to my teacher. She was so helpful. She talked me through my options. I have decided to keep the baby, whether I give the baby up for adoption is a different matter.
I am going to tell my Grandparents on soon, my teacher said she will come with me.
She has been so lovely, I can never thank her enough, she is the most understanding and supportive person I have ever met, I don't know what I would have done with-out her.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 It is not too late to have an abortion, so do not lose all hope yet. The sooner you talk to your head of year the better. Then you will get to know more about what options you have. You should also speak to your doctor as soon as possible.Your grandparents will have to deal with this at one point or another, you can't hide from this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, it was at a party, it was completely my fault, well our fault. One thing led to another and the here I am pregnant. We tried to use contraception, evidently it didn't work. But I am willing to face up to the resposibility.
My head of year is the probably the only teacher I can truely trust. I am just so scared and I don't know how to start the consovation.
I am also, extremely scared about how my Grandparents will throw me out, the have very traditional values and are incredibly strict.
Thank-you for all of the advice. Xxx
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (12 May 2011):
How was this your fault you think? You are a minor. You are not legally allowed to consent to sex. Hence, it is not your fault as much as it is the fault of your caretakers or the boy/man who had sex with you.
Were you attacked? Was the boy older than you? I have a feeling this might have been the case, and that you found yourself in a situation you should have not been in. But that does not mean it was your fault, because Im thinking you were pressured into having sex.
You sound like a woman who knows her own good, and that this isn't what you wanted to happen. Which tells me that if you had taken the choice to have sex by yourself you would have used protection, and it would have been with a boyfriend of yours. You do not mention any boyfriend... so again, this gives me a feeling you were assaulted.
Do contact your Head of the Year, and inform her about the boys name, age and whereabouts. Take one step at a time, talk to the person you trust first, and then she will help you with the other steps you need to take.
You are a under the age to give legal consent. This was not your fault, no matter how much you think it is, because you were in no position to agree to having sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2011): I know how your feeling...but it's not entirely your fault, there were two of you making the mistake and I don't judge you at all....but talk to your head of year and tell them your problem and I'm sure they'll help with telling your grandparents. It won't be easy but you can do it. When you tell your grandparents just ask them if you can talk to them alone and then tell them your pregnant. Be strong and hang in there.....and I'm glad you can at least admit that you know it's a mistake!;)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 May 2011):
To be fair, it takes two to make a baby, so it's not entirely your fault. And at this stage blaming yourself really isn't going to help.
If you can trust your head of year, then I think you should just go to her and say "I've made a mistake - I'm pregnant, please help me explain this". I'm sure she'll then help you. Your Grandparents will have to know at some point, you'll need counselling and you'll also need to go to the doctor for check ups and such.
Just don't waste time. You've been through a lot, and I'm sure your head of year will help.
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