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I'm not given a chance. why do I self sabotage and why are women so picky with friends?

Tagged as: Friends, Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 December 2014) 1 Answers - (Newest, 30 December 2014)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Its like I unconsciously sometimes ( not always) want to fail or make people not want to want to get to know me..as in the past Ive not been accepted, sadly women are cliquey at times and despite efforts ive been cold shouldered or dismissed.

like I may hint that im quiet, that Im a shift worker, ( which I am) hinting my life is quieter so people may think im boring..

emphasising this.. I have a few friends that I like seeing but 2 of them in particular are sooo busy that it not easy catching up.

in the past meeting new people, friends or dates has led to me being judged too quickly and ultimately them befriending someone else, its frustrating, Im a caring and ok person but people just dont give me a chance. Im also. a gay woman of feminine appearance and this makes it harder as gay women can also be picky.

I know we are all judged and not accepted in life, thats life!

I really want to meet new people but seem to fail at getting to the fhip stage due to me, or them..

help!

im a quieter mostly friendly and interested in others person who does genuinely like conversation, sadly I shut down in groups.. its much harder as an adult over 30 to meet people and I always .... it up.. why do we self sabotage?

help appreciated..

thanks

help!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2014):

Its normal for circles to shrink as we all age. Im 29 lesbian and my best friend is my girlfriend and my sister. I do have about 3 best male friends and 1 close female friend we all live in different cities as graduating from college sent us on different career paths in different locations. But it usually ends up that way. However right now none of us are married but that may keep us all further apart. As young adults we make friends with people who do what we do but as we get older...it gets old. We like you said judge more especially homosexuals. I cant speak for all women but we judge outwardly some of us. Plus the more we know the more we judge. I had a female friend for ten years we were best friends until she learned I was lesbian and couldn't have me a as a friend. Life sucks. But there are other people who aren't such jerks and you just hope to meet them. May you just haven't realized people similar to you usually have no friends and stay to themselves that is why its so hard to find others like you, perhaps. I hope the new year brings wonderful female friends into your life. True and long lasting friendship.

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