A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:HELP! I'm getting really close to a fantastic girl, we really like eachother but there's a problem.... I'm not confident... I've been sexually active for a while now but have Only had full sexual intercourse twice with 2 different girls.... She however has been sexually active for longer (as is expected since see is a year older). Shes had three times my amount of partners and is very experienced whereas I'm not. My problem is I've never been fully aroused before having sex or orgasmed with a girl..... My first sexual partner wasn't very nice after we split and spread hurtful and humiliating facts about me throughout the school I was attending... Is there something wrong with me? I don't want this problem to ruin my 'will-be relationship.' Any advice is greatly appreciated
View related questions:
orgasm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm definately not gay... And possibly it could be that.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 July 2011):
 "Yes during masturbation I am always totally erect. Just never with a girl."
two thoughts
1. could you be gay?
2. perhaps you don't like these girls enough to fully commit to them
and again... maybe it's just that you are NOT ready for this activity?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes during masturbation I am always totally erect. Just never with a girl.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2011): question are you fully aroused when you masturbate?
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 July 2011):
I was sexually active at your age so I won't do the POT.KETTLE.BLACK. thing to you....
perhaps the fact that you can't become fully aroused or enjoy the act means you aren't ready for this activity yet??
I know that what I thought was GREAT sex at 16 is LAUGHABLE now that I'm so much older....
yes sex feels good.. and yes it's fun.... so maybe that's all you need to focus on... being safe and having fun...
and just to cover my maternal instincts... CONSIDER backing off from intercourse and going for more foreplay and outercourse to get used to these feelings.
ONCE you meet "the one" when you are a bit older things will fall into place and it will probably work a bit better...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIll be 16 in 10 days I forgot to add...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2011): Without judging you, I would say your a little young to be worrying about performance or having sex.
Date a girl, get to know her, have a laugh, wait till you really know her, have feelings - don't jump in with a girl who is already experienced at such a young age.She will not only make you feel inexperienced but wary also, which causes problems
And don't have sex just cos your mates say they are - sounds like your just not ready
...............................
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (22 July 2011):
 it can be difficult to orgasm while wearing a condom if you are not that attracted to someone. what i'm saying is don't have sex with people you are not interested in just for the sake of having had sex.
being nervous in a situation that isn't what you want is never good for sexual arousal.
maybe don't rush into things and don't do things just because you hear everyone else is doing them. take things slowly and see how your relationship with this girl develops long before you have sex with her. let things progress naturally rather than rushing it. relax. get to know her as a friend and what her personality is like. get to know her as a person.
i've had a lot of sex and believe me its quality not quantity. don't do what you don't want to do.
always do what suits you
...............................
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (22 July 2011):
it can be difficult to orgasm while wearing a condom if you are not that attracted to someone. what i'm saying is don't have sex with people you are not interested in just for the sake of having had sex.
being nervous in a situation that isn't what you want is never good for sexual arousal.
maybe don't rush into things and don't do things just because you hear everyone else is doing them. take things slowly and see how your relationship with this girl develops long before you have sex with her. let things progress naturally rather than rushing it. relax. get to know her as a friend and what her personality is like. get to know her as a person.
i've had a lot of sex and believe me its quality not quantity. don't do what you don't want to do.
always do what suits you
...............................
A
male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (22 July 2011):
I'll not comment on underage sex here, since it's pointless to bolt the barn door when the horse has already escaped, but instead will simply try to help with our problem. It simply might be a question of your not having completely finished puberty yet, and thus the 'equipment' still needs to mature fully. Take things easy, do not necessarily focus on intercourse but rather use each opportunity to find out what gives your partner the most pleasure, and don't be afraid to ask for guidance from her while you're at it. By the time (probably within a year) everything is in perfect working order, you'll have a better knowledge of how to use it in an unselfish manner, unlike most fellows. Make sure both of you are protected, and equally important, talk honestly with your girlfriends and find out as much as you can about the way women think and feel. It will pay huge dividends sooner than you imagine.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011): First off, if the age you posted is correct: What the hell are you doing having sex? Right now, you should simply be experiencing "first kiss" stuff. Of course, it's a little too late to be saying that considering you said you've had sex with two other girls. But really, you need to stop kidding yourself. You need to be a regular teenager and hang out with your mates. I mean, what is this world coming to? The middle ages when girls and boys aged 13 got married and started families? That was only the thing of the day because people rarely lived past 40!
And the reason you're not fully aroused during intercourse is because your balls have barely dropped (if recently) and you're still new to it all.
...............................
|
