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male
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anonymous
writes: me and this girl who i like were talking online and i know we are close because she even said and we are best friends. I hadn't seen her for 3 months and i told her i got depressed because of it. She said she was shocked (as i would of guessed)but that it didn't freak her out. I also said to her that i kept a song on my mp3 that reminded me of her. I no that she likes it and im meeting her on saturday and taking her to this place where it has a nice view and there are no cars and it is quiet to show her and she really wants to no what it is. It is a good one because i no for a fact not many people will have it on there mp3... its 'a whole new world' off aladin. I no she likes it because she kept singing it once so do you think she wil like it? and do you think she will be happy that i remembered she likes it? after all it was 3 months ago. also i want to ask her if she thinks maybe in the future we could possibly have a relationship because she said to me i can tell her anything and i said the same to her. She has a boyfriend but she must care about me some what if im meeting her and showing her the song that reminds me of her. So how do i ask her about the future relationship and not look stupid. I was thinking of just maybe holding her hand as well while i play the song... or is this going to far? please help i am only 16 and she is 15 and her boyfriend is 18.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2006): this is the person who asked the question... thanks for the advice and i think the anonymous person is right... so how do i go through with this plan without coming on to strong because i am actually having second thoughts about this now.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2006): I am sure you like this girl but I think you are coming on WAY too strong. Chances are she doesnt want to break up with her boyfriend, which will just leave you hurt and a very strange feeling between the two of you, which I know you dont want. I think, as much as it hurts, you should just stay friends with her for now. I also wouldnt ask her if you could have a relationship in the future as that is just a double edged knife and you'd be blowing all your chances by making it weird. On the one hand she could tell you no flat out, or she could say yes and you would be waiting around for something that might never happen. The best thing you can do is be a good friend and show her what a great guy you are. Then, if and when she is available you can take your chance. I think playing that particular song is risky, holding her hand is a definate no-no, and asking her for a relationship is just setting yourself up for hurt. You sound inexperienced, so take it from someone who knows...you're coming on WAY too strong. What sounds romantic to you may flat out come across as needy and clingy to her.
Also, you have to put yourself in her boyfriends shoes. How would you like it if the situation was reversed?
It's just my opinion, but I think you'd be making a HUGE mistake by coming on so strong right now, as chances are you will ruin what you already have.
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A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (13 June 2006):
 dear reader i must warn you to tread carefully here it does sound as though she might like you but with an older b/f things might be a bit tricky. holding her hand sounds good too but try to be honest with her tell her you like her but don't be too fall on or you'll scare her off. i think she will be hapy about you remembering the song she likes and all girls like to you someone is thinking of them in a nice way. take things slow but be honest .
if you need any more advice with anything you can mail me direct if you wish. untill then good luck on saturday i hope things go well for you
all the best xxx
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