A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:my life is a complete mess right now and i dont know how to get out of it. i just started a new job in a care home about 4 weeks ago and its taking me a while to get the hang of it and everyone else is frustrated cause i make silly mistakes like today i got shouted at for putting dirty laundry on a surface that somebody had just cleaned before, i came into the room, and i have heard them all speak about me behind my back and say i'm useless when i KNOW that i'm not.And my boyfriend has just dumped me and it hurts like hell. he wont give me any reason for it or speak to me. he completely ignores any texts or emails and wont have anything to do with me. i dont even know what i did wrong but all of his friends hate me now too and they are all laughing at me. some send me texts saying i'm a joke and the biggest mistake he ever made. everything has gone wrong and it feels like my life is on a downward spiral and i just want to stay in bed and cry but i know that doesnt help cause it just makes me feel sorry for myself then it gets worse.urgh! please help!
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female
reader, MonDoc  +, writes (12 September 2007):
I'm so sorry about what you're going through at the moment.
But do you know what I see from reading what you wrote? Someone who has had pretty much the two most stressful situations you can have (new job + breakup) thrown at them in the one hit & who wants to just curl up & give up... but just keeps on going!
And THAT kind of person is anything but a joke.
I think you're amazing. I know what a new job feels like & you're sure you're the one asking the most questions & doing the stupidest things & that EVERYONE else but you just magically gets it & does everything right... but you're not alone!
I've heard starting a new job is akin (in terms of stress) to moving house -- and I firmly believe that. The first few months are hell in a hand-basket. But you're doing it - you're learning every day - today is not to put dirty laundry on a clean surface; tomorrow it'll be something else. And one day you'll be walking out & suddenly realise that today you didn't ask any questions or there weren't any problems or you don't feel like quitting / screaming.
It'll happen... be patient with yourself. And if someone gives you sh*t, just know that you're NOT the perception they have of you - you ARE intelligent, you ARE resourceful, you ARE everything you know you are... and they can just wait & see!!
With regards to your ex... I don't even need to waste a sentence on him. But I will because I can have a field day with him!
HE'S the joke. What a w*nker!! Honest to god, no matter how hard it is, do NOT let his opinion of you become your opinion. He's wrong & his mates sound like village idiots too. But keep in mind, whatever he's telling them, he's probably made himself out to be some big victim & they just don't know any better.
Feel sorry for him (being such an idiot w*nker) & feel sorry for them having such an idiot w*nker as a mate!
You truly are a tough, good soul. Just keep on taking one breath after another... that's all you can do. And be thankful that you are the strong, resilient girl that you are. Many would have faltered by now - you haven't & that's a real virtue!
All the best to you.
A
female
reader, superbunny +, writes (11 September 2007):
 Oh dear, honey!As for the guy, he sounds like a right idiot and pathetic if all his mates are texting you saying rubbish like that, he's no man if he has to get his mates to express his feelings for him! Ignore it, delete him off your phone, it'll get easier, I promise.As for work, talk to someone in a more superior place than you. If they're saying you're useless, then they're bullying you which is a serious problem in a work place, if you have a staff room there should be a number you can call if you feel you're being badly treated?Hope things work out for the best - message me if you want to talk. :] x
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