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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I've had an on and off relationship with a high school classmate.Everything was good.he got married and so did i. We were seeing each other regular. We would have sex which was good to him. I was good with it because i got the attention i was looking for as talking caressing and him caring about my feeling. It was an on off thing we had. Well for 3 years we were hot. Then he went through Losing his parents. Then a divorce. His attention withdrew from me. Then a year later after his divorce he's involved with another woman. He tells me he's happy and we can't have contact like that..he want to where's this relationship going.i respect that. But all along i feel like What the Hell. Well now he says they're still together. Things are good except their sex life. What should i do. He sexy. Tall. But i can't let that determine anything. Im still married but lacks alto out of my marriage. What he's wanting.how do i know this won't happen again. What to do?
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (8 November 2012):
 'I have feeling for my husband but im really trying to let my past be my past.'
This statement is absurd indeed. Your husband cannot be your past all the time you are married and living with him. Cheating on him is USING him, USING his home, USING his time, USING his money!!!
No wonder that your marriage is a mess when you are focussing all your thoughts and energies on another man...How could your marriage even stand a chance???
You wanna know why the other guy is back??? He is back because he wants to use your body for a place to get his rocks off.
If your husband knew what was going on for the last three years, I am pretty sure he would dump you out of your home and divorce you for adultery...and it would be no less than you deserve.
Aunty Em has no sympathy at all and as much as I love this site, I am sickened by the actions and selfishness of some people who post here...
What happened to morals, fair play and trust????
ALL BEING DESTROYED IN OTHER PEOPLES BEDS!!!!
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (7 November 2012):
 Why is he back? Because he, like you, is a serial cheater with no morals. He knows he can have sex on a plate from you, with no emotional attachment. If you are offering it (which you have done for years), why would he want to stop? He knows he can get away with it, so he does it. Like the old phrase "having your cake and eating it". He gets the happy relationship with the girlfriend at home, and then the bit of fun on the side with you.
He doesnt care about you, he doesnt care about his girlfriend either, he only cares about himself. He knows he can have both the forbidden fruit (i.e. you on the side) and then the loving faithful girlfriend at home. He has no reason not to come back to you, after all you offer him sex whenever he wants it. If he can have both, he will.
Hence why I said before, you need to make a choice - your husband or this other guy. Because as long as you are offering sex on a plate the other man will come back, so this horrible mess will carry on and on. You have to stop this at some point, if your kids ever found out about what you are doing behind their dad's back they would be disgusted. They would much rather mum and dad split up than find out their mum is sleeping around, they will lose so much respect for you.
I'm sure you know cheating is wrong, and I'm sure you know staying with your husband when you are unhappy just because of the kids is wrong too. If mum and dad are unhappy the kids will be unhappy, and they will get a bad idea of what relationships will be like. If you barely recognise each other's existence they will grow up thinking that is how a marriage should be, and they will end up in similar unhappy marriages like you. Is that what you want for your kids? Do you want them to grow up and be in the same mess as you?
Stop thinking about this other man for a second, who cares about the reasons behind his behaviour. You sound like a silly school girl asking 'does he like me'. Think about yourself for a change, what you want from life, what makes you happy, and what is best for you kids. But I can tell you now, a cheating mother and unhappy marriage is not the best thing for your children.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2012): [Mod Note: This is from the OP]this a reply back to my article. Please don't rake what im saying out of content. My husband and i don't have a bad sex life. I said the sex was more better to the other man than for me. I was just getting his kindness. Im not bragging bout what i done. And yes i tried to stop thru the course of 10 years with him. But since all the things took place within his life my life changed as well. Im not saying Im a right because Im not. I think if it wasn't for her surge then he wouldn't be trying to look me back up. As for as my husband. He doesn't even know i exists. My kids are the glue that holds us together. I have feeling for my husband but im really trying to let my past be my past. I just need a response to the whole situation. Why is he back. He said he's in a great relationship but at the same time he coming back to me. It took me a period of time to forget him and its bringing my old feelings back.. I just need a different view.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (7 November 2012):
This all boils down to these questions? Do you still want to be married to your husband? Or would you be happier with the man you are having an affair with?
If you want to be with your husband, then stop cheating and focus on working through the problems in your marriage.
If your marriage is over and you want to be with the other man, then leave your poor husband so he is free to find a genuine, faithful woman who loves him and wont treat him like crap. Then you can do what you want with this other man.
Cheating is never the answer to a problem in your relationship, just because the sex is bad in your marriage does not give you the rights to cheat. If the sex is bad, then work on making it better. Go for counselling if you need to. If nothing is working and you are unhappy, then leave so you are both free to be happy with other people. What you are doing is disgusting and so unfair on your husband, if you love him or respect him at all then you will be able to stop yourself from doing this to him.
As for the other man, if he has told you that he wants to see where his new relationship is going and he doesnt want to see you anymore, then you have to accept this. He is single, you are not. He got a divorce so he is free to see whoever he wants. You are NOT single, you are married, so you have no say in who he sees or not. You are not currently available for a relationship, so of course he will choose her over you because she is available.
So you have a choice - either make yourself available (i.e. leave your husband) and start a relationship with the other man. Or work on your marriage, end the affair for good and let him work on his relationship with his new girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (7 November 2012):
 Hi
I don't even know why your asking us, you have both cheated throughout your marriages and he is now divorced and wants to cheat on his new woman. You will not resist him because you have both always done as you want to have illicit sex.
Have you ever considered getting a divorce yourself so your husband can go find a good woman? Then your free to have sex with whoever you want ~ without cheating.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (7 November 2012):
Oh dear lord what an absolutely disgusting mess!!
It's amazing how grubby people allow their lives to become and how little they care about hurting other people just so they can get what they want!!!
Your life and his boil down to nothing more than the pursuit of sex. Neither one of you knows what love is or how to respect people.
He cheated on his wife with you and now he wants to cheat on his GF with you...and you have no guilt about cheating on your husband it seems.
It looks like you guys were made for eachother, but I wouldn't ever pin your hopes on a faithful relationship with him...but, oh yeah...you don't care about fidelity so sure...go right ahead!! but remember that sooner or later that shit will bite you in the ass!!
And before you blow a spoke...If you did have any respect for your husband or this guys new girlfriend, you would not ever consider cheating...
But it's all about you it seems!!
Good luck with that one!!
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