A
male
age
16-17,
Razorwire99
writes:Hi I have a problem. I'm 16, and I'm in love with my 14 year old sister. At first I thought it was just hormones, but it's been 4 years and I still feel the same way. Also I think she already knows, but I can't be sure. Help! Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, notsobad  +, writes (6 October 2008):
i know im writing this late but i just want to give you an advice.... let me ask you something,have you already been inlove with someone before except,of course,your sister? if yes compare it to what you feel for that someone.and if you find a difference between them, ask yourself again this question..."do i REALLY love my sister?"you know, its not wrong when you love your sister.its just normal to develop that kinda love.but then this kinda love should never be ofcourse the intimate kind lovers share. its just the love that brings you and your sister be close to each other..... maybe you have just mistaken your feelings to your sister. you'll soon start to realize it....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2008): Well it may be sort of weird but it's not bad, you know sometimes the indicated person for our heart it's not always the type we think, sometimes it's in our family, sometimes it may be our same sex it doesn't really matter we are all people, we can love who we want
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): you can love her all you need but try not too act on your emotions.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): What makes you think you are in love with your sister? Can you describe the feelings you have for her? Are you sure it is love and not lust? What is it about her that makes you feel like you are in love with her?
If you think she already knows, then about all you can do is talk to her about it, and see how she feels.
Also, to the male poster from May 31, is your sister married now? Have you ever told her that she is off-the-chart gorgeous? Do you think she knows you feel that way about her? Perhaps you should tell her sometime that you have been in love with her for as long as you can remember. It might make your relationship with her stronger.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2008): Meh.
I think you should treat her like you treat any other girl.
And to the churchgoers here:
Until the last 50 years, being homosexual was against god. And so was a multitude of other things.
Incest is starting to become more widely done.
I advise the OP to use a condom if he ever has sex with her though. A gene imbalance can be very bad, and you don't want a kid like that.
When out in public don't kiss her though... you will get beaten up in the street and stuff. Treat it in public like you are with your sister, not a lover.
To get your feelings across, sit her down, talk for a while about stuff then say 'I love you' putting emphasis on the word 'love'.
I wish you luck mate!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): I've never understood what the big deal is with incest, keeping religion far aside, PLEASE! Like the anonymous poster above, I've been in love with my sister for as long as I can remember. She is 6 years older and completely gorgeous. When puberty hit, what? I'm not supposed to notice that there's this bombshell right next to me? I wish I could say something happened between us, but it only happened in my fantasies... fantasies that I still have and will undoubtedly have forever - really, to this day she is my number one fantasy girl . Sorry, but that's the way it is for me, and I really have a problem understanding why this is wrong. I mean, really... whenever I see some breathtaking beauty, I'm forever wondering how her brother, father, or maybe even her sister could not want to be with her. Where's the problem??? I'm not saying that this is necessarily a good thing, just that it isn't needlessly a bad thing. If the feelings are there, where's the harm?Ok, slam me now with your religious or psychological babble... But if your argument has anything to do with inbreeding, please be aware that there is such a thing as contraceptives - which I can only dream (fantasize) that my sister and I might need someday. Really, I'm not kidding, she is off the chart GORGEOUS!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): I know all the other posters mean well and this guy is so young I wouldn't want to give any bad advice so I won't. What I will do is relate my own experience from my own childhood on. When I was a little younger than this guy, I also started having feelings for my sister. And they were not the "brotherly love" or "protective" feelings. They were genuine romantic feelings. I think I tried to tell her a couple of times but I never actually did. Nothing sexual ever happened between us. But those feelings have persisted to this day (I'm in my 30s now). I actually am, always have been and always will be in love with her. I'd never tell her now. She's never known and never will. But I've compared every woman I've ever gotten involved with to her. It may not be "right" as far as society is concerned but you don't choose who you fall in love with. And generally, there is one person who is truly special for everyone and nobody will ever be more special than they are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): I'm sorry man, but FYI, It would NEVER be ok in our society or even as human being to actually try and be with your sibling in a romantic way. This is just obviously wrong and if you have any belief in God, you might earnestly pray to Him that He will take this desire out of your heart because He calls this an "abomination," meaning romantic desire for a sibling is evil and disgusting. Please seek counseling or something before you try to do something really bad! Thanks!
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (3 February 2008):
 Wow female and male anonymous your really not helping! Just because you may have a sick relationship with your brother/sister dosen't mean it's right. So push off to your dark cave and stay there
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2008): I agree with the woman here who said you should be nice to your aister and treat her like any other girl you like. Take her places and pay attention to her and do things to make her feel special. If you show her love, she will reciprocate. And if she feels the same way about you, she will let you know.
But let me ask you something, are your feelings for her deep in your heart, or are they sexual in nature? By that, I mean, do you feel the love in your heart, or is it that you get sexually aroused when you around her?
Also, to smexii1313, you said you had friends who had been through this same kind of thing. Were they male or female friends, and what was their problem? How did you find out about it, and how did they deal with it?
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A
male
reader, Jugurtha  +, writes (2 February 2008):
It's perfectly natural, especially during your teenage years, to have strong emotions of a sexual nature. It's also quite probable that you're feeling like this due to the hormonal changes we all undergo through teenage years, and that as your sister is likely the closest person of the opposite sex to you (emotionally and proximally) that you are transferring emotions to her that are better placed elsewhere, and would be placed elsewhere had you the opportunity.
If you really love your sister you won't act on any inappropriate feelings you may have for her. Incest is not a good thing, and as the older sibling you have the responsibility to protect your sister from things that can hurt or damage her. You are also probably in the situation where she, to an extent at least, looks up to you and would consider you as some sort of role-model.
As quit-playing-games-with-my-heart said, talk to your school counsellor or some other qualified mental health professional.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): First, treat her like any other girl you might like- take her to the movies, go to the mall, treat her nice. When (and if you do) give her hugs, let it last a little longer; she might catch on to how you feel. If you tell her you love her, look into her eyes and let her know how you feel.Having a relationship with your sister is a beautiful thing, and there's nothing wrong with it. If it doesn't work out, don't fret; she'll always be your sister!
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A
female
reader, quit playing games with my heart  +, writes (1 February 2008):
 go to the counsellor at your school, don't be embarrassed to talk to them about it, this is their job and they can help you, they aren't allowed to tellanyone what you tell them in their office, so have trust in the system. Don't worry im sure you aren't really INLOVE with your sister, you probably just like everyone else said, are confused. good luck bud!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): Hi Hunny,
I think you are getting love and inlove confussed hunny, As you said this has been happening for 4 yrs so you would be 12 and your sister 10 and as a big brother you may have started to get protective with her which is natural both my boys are very protective with there sister. Your hormones may be taking over now as you are getting older you just need to find a girl your own age and think to yourself about the possibilitys of what could come of this and realise you love your sis so much but its not the inlove kind like you will one day realise when you are a little older TAKE CARE SWEETHEART LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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female
reader, shandygirl  + ♥, writes (1 February 2008):
 I love really my boyfriend, my friends, animals, my Brother, my sister, etc.
I agree with the other posts, that you are confused. There are different types of Love. Feeling that you are "in Love" with your sister HAS to be incorrect, due to the possibly you are feeling lonely for female companionship. You need to find yourself a girlfriend, and after you do, you will see this thing for what it really was.
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A
female
reader, shandygirl + ♥, writes (1 February 2008):
I love really my boyfriend, my friends, animals, my Brother, my sister, etc.
I agree with the other posts, that you are confused. There are different types of Love. Feeling that you are "in Love" with your sister HAS to be incorrect, due to the possibly you are feeling lonely for female companionship. You need to find yourself a girlfriend, and after you do, you will see this thing for what it really was.
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A
female
reader, smexii1313 +, writes (1 February 2008):
 Wow. Well I think you should go out with someone else that's your age, and you'll stop thinking about her. My friends have been through the same thing, if you like her that ,then you need to go out more and stay away from her. Go out with friends and other girls, so you keep your mind off of her, and it will come soon that you'll just have feeling towards her as your sister. But you really have to go out with other girls. That's the only way you'll get over your problem, trust me. smexii1313
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A
female
reader, O Connor  + ♥, writes (1 February 2008):
 i think you're confused and have imbalances in your body, its not right to have these feelings and you need to go out with other girls your own age who are not related to you!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 February 2008):
 You can love your sister but you should not fall in love with her. You are confused.She is you sister and it is not right.There are many girls out there.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (1 February 2008):
You loved your sister when you were 12 and she was 10? strange. I read we got chemicals in our body to stop us falling for our family members, at least the ones we grow up with. You got a chemical imbalance in your body. Leave your sister alone and go out with an girl your own age, it's not very hard is it
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