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I'm in love with a married man!

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 December 2007) 14 Answers - (Newest, 3 February 2008)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am a 17 year old and I'm in love with one of my 30 year old managers...We've been seeing each other for a while...we've even had sex. But there is one problem he is married and has 2 kids of his own. I really want our relationship and love to last until I turn 18 that way we can see each other alot more and not be as sneaky about it. I really really like this guy but what should I do...should I wait til I turn 18 to go another level with him relationship wise or should I just try to forget him because he's married with kids.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008):

Let him go you are young and have a whole world out there to explore and live to the fullest... He will never leave his wife and children forget about him.You are worth more than to be second in this man's life and trust me even if he leaves his wife for you you will always be second in his life.. So just give yourself the chance to be with someone elese that does not have a whole package coming with him.. Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008):

i wouldnt normally answer questions online but i was in same situation as you and was same age while my married man was 33. yes its exciting and you feel you are in love but he is playing you for a fool. i ended up pregnant from mine and while i was having my child he was begging her to take him back. in time he mite settle for u as mine did, but make no mistake the stress of a divorce and custody battles will drive you apart in the end anyway. he is not deserving of you and a waste of space. if he wanted you the way you want him, you would be together right now. no good can come of this hun. Put yourself first.xxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007):

Sweetie what other level do you want to go to? You have already done the deed. You sound more mature than you sick b/f at least you thinking about what you need to to and you know the answer.

Dump Him ASAP.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007):

Sweetie Get Out!

I am the wife who caught my husband in an affair, well let me tell you my husband begged me to forgive him. I even met the other woman 12 years younger than me didnt bother me because she looked older a crack addict all the nasty things he wanted to check the dark side well he told her so much bad things about me, and all the time we were fine at home I never noticed until guilt started getting the best of him, I could tell anyway it has been a year and my husband has never called her back again he wishes and begs me if I have forgiven him I have do I love him the same no, he has told me he will not go to his grave until I love him the way we did 18 years ago when we got married, he has no child support to worry about our children are older so you see it isnt the children it is the wife they do not want to leave he calls the other woman the "skank the experiment".

Leave hun there is always a bond between a husband and wife if he left his wife than thats different but he does not want to leave her it has nothing to do with the kids you will only be someone despised by him, his kids and the wife someday he will blame you for seducing him...LEAVE NOW HE DOESNT LOVE YOU!!!

p.s. Xmas was especially wonderful this year, I was so totally spoiled :-D wonder why?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007):

I am married wiht a baby & another one on the way & can tell you that if my husband ever did this to me & my kids, it would ruin my life, the children's lives and my husband's life. This man is immature, and selfish. He will not leave the kids and his wife for a toy. And honestly, why would you want a snake who'd do this to his wife & 2 kids? He should be living for those children, not having sex with a child on the side. He is a very bad person & you are just infatuated with him. If I were you, I would threaten to tell his wife ( but don't tell her ) just to scare him straight into being a better man. And I would run like hell. You deserve better for yourself than this, and so do that man's innocent babys. Divorce will cost him 1/2 of everything he has right now, plus he will be responsible to pay child support on 2 kids until they are both 18, and he will be responsible for the kids medical bills as well. Trust me, he doesn't think your sex is worth that much. He is going to screw you until one of you breaks it off, and that is all. Which is going to leave you heartbroken so be the better person & tell him what he's doing is wrong & cut it off. How would you feel if you were his wife, and the mother of his 2 kids?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007):

He's never gonna leave. You're a plaything to him, some "fun on the side."

This is an old, old story. The details are fresh each time but the final ending is always the same.

You can realize this and move on now, or you can insist on doing things the hard way and hurt yourself worse. The choice is yours.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007):

What kind of a game are you playing? And just what is he playing at? He is having a bit on the side and you are it, He will never leave his wife and kids so dont live in the dream world. Get away and get a bloke of your own who is free! You are going to get burned, and he will never choose you over them, so get real and get out.

take care

xx

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (18 December 2007):

Fairy_Lu agony auntGet out get out get out get out!!!!!!! This is never going to happen he isnt going to leave his wife and kids for you, your his dirty little secret his younger woman thats it nothing else he might tell you he loves you but suprise suprise that Would be a LIE just leave him find someone your own age because the only one who is going to get hurt is YOU!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007):

You, deep down inside, know what to do. You know what's right. You wouldn't do anything wrong, or go out of your way to hurt anyone. The only reason that you might do it now is because you're in love with someone else, and YOU want something.

His wife and kids want him. They need him. It's a happy family. It's probably because your young and he's probably using you. Has he ever told you he loves you? And do you think he really means it?

Imagine if you did actually get married, him causing grief to him and his whole family by leaving them for, just you. And I don't mean, just you, but everything for one thing. Then he does the same thing to you. Finds someone younger and leaves you and the kids. How much would that hurt you?

Your young, get someone your own age and live a full life with them. It's not the age difference that's the problem, it's the emotional pain you'll cause and if you do that to someone then your out to cause pain to them. That's just not nice.

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A female reader, starfairy United Kingdom +, writes (18 December 2007):

starfairy agony auntOk, the wife and children aside, it sounds like he is fobbing you off with the excuse that you can be together when you're 18.

If he loved you, why couldn't he be with you NOW?

He's 30, probably felt he was past his prime. Now he has a young, nubile 17 year old interested in him - he's totally having his cake and eating it too.

I may be totally off the mark about him, but uinfortunately it's very often the same song with affairs.

Just be prepared for the fact that he probably won't leave his wife and will string you along for as long as he can.

I know you can't help who you fall in love with, but do think about the devastation that you would wreak upon his wife and children, were he to decide to leave them for you.

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A male reader, chlez83 Zambia +, writes (18 December 2007):

Deep down your heart,you know the right choice to make but you are looking for sum1 to support the choice your body wants.Well like most of the people here,i'm gonna be honest with you.

Apart from the things that attract you to him,why do you wana continue seeing him?Is it because he's great in bed like most married men are?Would you love to be the other woman all the time?Do you honestly think he's gonna leave the mother of his two kids for you?You should know that divorces are expensive,take long and are generally not easy to complete.Is it the sex you are enjoying so much that you forget the times he's with his wife at home and that he can't see you the way you wish.Get a grip on yourself and be strong.You are sexually addicted to him and the earlier you stop the better.You'll find it hard to enjoy a relationship in future because of the trauma this may cause you.Be wise and try as much to forget him.Consider the possibity of changing jobs.

Good luck.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (18 December 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntYou've more than just one problems here my dear. Try more like 5. His poor wife, an innocent child, another innocent child, a lying, cheating, using, a-hole, an your lack of good judgement. Wise up and take off those rose-colored glasses. This will never go anywhere.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007):

Why did you get involved with a man who is so much older than you, and who is married? Who initiated this realtionship, you or him? What caused you to get involved with him?

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A female reader, bqagirl2692 United States +, writes (18 December 2007):

bqagirl2692 agony auntSweetie, im sorry to say but he is just not worth it. You cant even consider something serious with a 30 year old man who has a family of his own and yet he has the time to do these immature and selfish acts. What he is doing to his own family, he is very capable of doing it to you. He isnt worth the wait at all. You need someone who is around your age and who is much more responsible and mature. It looks more like an infactuation than love. Havent you ever thought that maybe he is using you as bait for fun? Be fair to yourself and for his wife...his 2 children. It isnt fair to any of you to be played in this way. Have some respect for yourself. Do the right thing and forget about this guy. He isnt worth the trouble or wait. Good luck!

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