| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I met a guy over the summer and had a passionate affair, the one catch was that he was my flatmate.We both fell out with the other flatmates and had to move out.I unfortunately didn't have a job and had to move back in with my parents, which was also in another city!?We have kept in contact and I still wonder whether he is 'the one' for me or whether we should both try and move on...I miss him, but am unsure about continuing the relationship. I have a job here now, but I feel sad about the fact I may end up never leaving my home town again. But I don't want to struggle away from my family again.I just can't seem to make up my mind about him, he is a really lovely guy and maybe I could be happy with him, I don't really know how to handle this, I just feel like I'm hurting him and myself.I don't know if any of this makes sense but if you can offer any advice I'd be very grateful...
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,
I'm still having dilemmas about this relationship. He told me he loved me for the first time when I went to visit him for New Year. I told him I did too, but then said "well I think I love You".
Really I guess I just am not sure.
Since then I have been thinking about breaking up with him, but this feels so awful after everything that has happened (ie having to move out of the house. He had been friends with the other flatmates for a long time and one of them was his ex girlfriend of 7 years ago!?)
Part of the reason I want to spit up with him is because I can't live with the way we got together, I think that everyone must think I'm 'easy'. Tho I also realise if I break up with him they'll probably reaally hate me and thing that anyway.
I also have a problem with the fact he has a lot of female friends..
I really want to go travelling too for at least 6 mths as I have just hit 30 and think I wont have a chance to do it if I don't do it now.
Can you give me anymore advice...
A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (28 December 2006):
 If you are having doubts and feeling confused about either to stick or move on, do not rush into any decision yet. You need more time.
Moving in with this guy and find later that it was the wrong decision would make you feel more guilty and resentful. It would certainly hurt him more as you would have given him false hope.
Try to book a two week holiday and spend some time together to see if the spark is the same. Call it a trial with no obligation if you like.
When you are truly in love with someone, you know for sure. However, doubts that you are having might have something to do with uncertainty and insecurity about your future. You should also look into this area in your life.
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