A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok please bare with me on this story, its gonna be long but i serious need some help its ruining my life!Well i've been at college with this guy for 2 years and we are due to leave..I fell in love with him and im not exagerating there i truely do,im nothing without him, hes one of my best friends and all throughout last year and part of this year people thought he liked me because he showed it so much! + things got difficult back then because i got bullied so it was harder for us to talk or anything.The thing is hes liked this other girl for a while and back when he asked her out she kind of lead him on and then said yeah she;d go out with him then the next day changed her mind due to various reasons...some of which unless she was willing to change would still be a bit of a problem now. But her bf's gone abroad to live and she was meant to be going out there but doesn't want to and hes all over he again and wanting to ask her out again and tbh it totally kills me. But the worst thing is hes not who he normally is anymore when shes there he has changed and adapted to be like her. Like drinking at dinner while at college hes always been against it and would never do it because of the trouble you can get into but now because of shes doing it and this other girl(who really wants them two to be together) hes doing it all the time. Me and his other mates in the class don;t talk to him like we used to unless shes not there its just all changed. Tbh a part of me thinks shes using him in a way because yes she likes him but they;re total opposites but not just that but shes just a total flirt and is mad on sex(she doesnt use people) but thats one thing he wont do due to religon and she knows it. As he;s said before she seems to like the attention but he doesnt seem to care right now.Stuff happened between me and him a while ago some people caused trouble between us but we sorted stuff out and starteed t become really good friends. Hes always had the problem that he won't talk to me much and stuff. yes i am abit quiet at time and everything but like if someone else did something he'd laugh but then if i said it it'd be like...blank! no response as if he ingored it. Other thing was he was abit ebtter with me outside of college, alot more relaxed with me and stuff we had some good times, he still wasn't great with me but still he always had some sort of communication problem with me. bare in mind that im a lot more shy than this other girl and i struggle to talk to him but simply because i get no response but not much, if i try and mess around with him its like nothing...its ingored or something but if she dos it hes alwyas teasing back. He used to do that with me at one point but something happened that made me think he admitted he liked me, it was so obvius, i more or less heard it and then the next mintue this girl thats always liked him started picking on me and soon turned everyone against me, its been found out now it was because she didn;t want to loose him. We were fine for so long after sorting stuff out had such good times together and then suddenly it started to go back to how it was before..some people did say to him while i was there that they didn;t want him around anymore while he had a tag along(me in otherwords) and then a month ago all this with this girl started again and its just gone so down hill since. Hes changed so much though, the stuff he does the wya he is.. i asked him if hes coming to this gig we normally go to(its an event that holds gigs) we always go, not together but we see eahc other up there and hang round together and we know others there as well and hes like i dunno, probably, i'll see...hes always been so dedicated to it and now he just dont seem to care. Now for the best bit. Afew months ago he told someone some stuff. And guess what!! he blames me for him and that girl never being toegther, apprantrly she said to him not to go out together becuz of me getting hurt(i no thats not true becuase he wouldn;t of been how he was, i know why she didn't wanna be with him + i tried to persuade her to go out with him both on my own and while he was there) he just wanted someone to blame and he always says he wants to loose contact with me because him to much hassle to be mates wiht. None of it makes sense thought because all throughout this hes said he promises we'll become good m8s, he loves me as a m8, that i really helped him with that girl and we had some amazing times together and now this!Back when i thoguht he liked m something weird happened like his mte trying to find out whether i liked him or not, she eventually just asked and the way it happened it was just like he told her and now another mate of his has added me an want us to meet up with him sometime, again its obvious hes said something. So none of it makes sense. Sometimes i think ehs like this with me becuase he still likes me to an extent and with me being shy and shes so confident he dont know how to go about it, but then again heknows i like him but we could never be together in college anyway, he;d get so much hassle. or that its denial or just the others saying stuff. But i'm gonna loose him, she knows how much this hurts me and how much i want him yet im sure they gonna end up going out together, she kept saying he doesnt wanna but i no for a fact he does..our m8s spoke to him and told me everything, i dont get why hes like this with me there must be a reaosn! one part of the says he still likes me and its all so weird ad stuff but the other part says he just don;t want anything to do with me. Yes i no if he wnated me that much he'd tell me but tbh he can't in college and i wanna stay gd m8s with him but atm hes so weird with me i dont even think he'll miss me or anything. Its like in te common rooms he wont sit next to me but we sit together every lesson and tbh u dont really sit with someone u hate do u! theres something strange goin on. I love him i know well probably never be together but then things keep saying theres a chance but i know we wont so i just wanna be good mates with him but tbh if him and this girl get together i dont think i can bare to see them again, i cant see them together it kills me(literally) as it is! Although i thought about it and decided i just wanna try and stay the same with him, stay m8s and do the things that we used to but hes like changing for her and he hardly talks to me much and if i try teasing him or messin abut it never works so i need serious help on what to do please! I lvoe him hes one of the biggest parts of y life ive been so depressed throughout this and going out with my mates doesn;t help because i can;t enjoy myself atm and + we have hlf of the same mates! So its gonna be hard! please help! what do you thinks goin on?
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