A
male
age
41-50,
*acingsnake
writes:hey guys how are you?just would like to ask for some outside point of view on my problem.don't even know it's a problem though but stil...it seems to me i've got a bit of a commitment problem.here's the thing.i've been going out with a girl on and off since 2001.i've cheated numerous times and in the end just stayed with another girl.she was heartbroken.some time later we got back together.we still are but it's a long distance relationship.i thought i'd grown up and could do it now.stay faithful and be honest and give her what she deserves the most-happyness.i was wrong...here comes this girl and completely blows me off my feet.there's just something about her the drives me crazy.we went out twice and kissed.i couldn't lie to her so i told her i'm not single.of course she got pissed off.stopped talking to me at all.it's been a week now.i miss her greatly and i just can't get her out of my head.i can't speak to my current girlfriend and pretend everything's fine.although she probably feels something's wrong.i know that me telling her it's over is just gonna put a knife straight through her heart.but i think i should do it.just to clean my act.on the other hand i want this new girl so bad.i've spoken to her today.told her i wanna speak to her and explain something.i'm just goona tell her how i feel and that's it.if she tells me to piss off then i'd much rather be all alone that full and hurt 2 people at the same time.i feel as though i'm an adrenalin junkie of some sort.i'm just a risk taker and i can't help it.living on the edge is what i do all the time.i thought i could fix this because i simply hurt too many people but i just can't.so there it is-my story.hope to hear any opinions-good or bad.everyone is welcomed.thanks for your time guys.good luck.
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got back together, heartbroken, long distance Reply to this Question
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male
reader, racingsnake +, writes (5 June 2009):
racingsnake is verified as being by the original poster of the question hi there!
thanks for all the input guys.was actually going to do exactly that-break up without telling her about the new girl.i guess it's not lying-it's not giving out all the information.yeah i guess i do need to just date for a while or just as well be single for some time to completely understand what the hell is going on in my head and my heart.
thank you once again for you replies and the time you've taken to comment.
cheers.
A
male
reader, 2old4this  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 I don't think you have a maturity problem because you said it yourself, you know its messed up to treat someone that way. Breaking up with this girl is the right thing, because if she was the one then I don't believe you would have cheated. My suggestion to you is to not commit to a relationship with any woman until youve gone out with that person enough to KNOW that you need to be with her and no one else. Let the ladies know up front that you are just dating around right now and you will find most of them will be ok with that, in fact it makes some women try even harder. But overall you have to know that everything you do is your choice. You can help cheating if you love the one you are with enough. You just got to tell yourself that you are not playing around anymore. But, if you honestly believe you can't help it, a therapist could help. There is no shame in that.
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