A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this website is to do with relationships, but i really want some advice! I'm going on holiday with few my best friends this year to the place everyone calls "Party land". It's just tanning and playing on the beach during the day and partying and getting drunk at night!! It's a constant party day to night. At first this really appealed to me, because it's my kind of scene and i wanted a girlie holiday! The problem is now i've payed for it, i've started to realise that the thought of at night with my drink being drugged, or loads and loads of guys grinding me, trying to get with me, sleep with me... well you get the idea has really put me off!! My friends said that i shouldn't worry about it and they'll look out for me but then they i know they aren't fussed about these things!! And when i said i am not getting drunk there because i don't want to be a target for guys and do something i will regret, they seemed off about it and said they are planning to get drunk and party cause that's the whole point of why people go there! I'm just not looking forward to it! and am really nervous and scared about what will happen in the evening with the guys. I don't really think i'll enjoy it? I've tried to ignore this and just be positive, but the fact that i'm only one who is thinking about this makes me feel like i'm on my own!!?
View related questions:
best friend, drunk, on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2011): last year i went to ayia napa,cyprus,a big summer resort where everyone has fun and gets drunk, its a notorious place by a few.
well.
i didnt get drunk. i didnt have one night stands.
i just had fun :)
U can do it. Nobody should pressure u into anything.
set some rules with ur girlfriends,and i also recomment pepperspray.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011): ------HEY GUYS I'M THE GIRL WHO ANSWERED THIS QUESTION!!------Sorry about the caps, i just wanted to make aware that i asked it since i didn't create an account it wouldn't appear in yellow....After reading everyones comments, I honestly feel more positive about going and having a good time (responsibly of course lol). All yours messages have really helped me prepare and think straight about this holiday and realize how right you are. And believe it or not, but i sort of am looking forward to going now!? Haha....So I just wanna say a massive thanks to everyone who took time to answer!! You guys helped :)
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 A girlie vacation, uh ? :) I think you' ve got more to worry about your feisty friends than about any of the locals- or the males in general.
Some years ago I went to Ibiza with my husband ( we went there for the sea, not for the clubs ). In our hotel there were 3 Danish girls, we saw them arriving, they looked like little angels : all blonde and rosy-cheeked , sort of shy, little floral print sundresses.. so cute.
The day after we are on the beach and we see them arriving around noon , with two crates of beer bottles ( I guess 48 bottles or so ). They put them down on the sand, switch a radio or something on, take their bikini tops off, and start dancing. And drinking. Faster and faster ( both the dancing and the drinking ) Pretty soon they must have got their fill, - and start showering with the remaining bottles, pouring beer over their heads. I'll always remember my husband's look : half fascinated ( semi naked Scaandinavian girls dancing under your nose , it does not happen every day ) and half horrified. Maybe for all the good beer that was going wasted :), maybe because you would never see an Italian girl doing that even at the rowdiest party . Ever.
Wait. It does not end here. After a couple more minutes of dancing and beer shower, one of the girls just - sort of drops dead on the sand. Our Samaritan instinct kicks in and we sprint forward , offering frantically to call an ambulance, a doctor, something- and her friends, - oh no. Everything is fine thank you . She just needs to rest an hour or so. No big deal. We try to insist, but her friends are adamant , everything is fine ( implied : mind your own business, you drama queens ). They cover her up with a beach towel... and keep dancing .
( We saw all 3 of them the day after so I guess they were right, everything WAS fine,luckily )
Your friends sound like having belligerant ideas about this vacation, so , like the scouts : be prepared :)
Seriously though- no, it's up to you. You can have a great time, and be perfectly safe. Just drink in moderation, do not accept drinks or cigarettes by strangers, do not follow strangers to their place or to the beach ,and always have cab fare with you. The usual stuff that you probably already do.
Have a great time !
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (1 April 2011):
 Relax and be smart. There's no reason you can't have fun and be responsible.
Never leave your drink unattended. If you feel odd, make sure to tell a friend and seek help.
It's paid for, and will be a great experience if you don't kill it worrying. It's good that you're thinking of possible problems, but don't let those get in the way of what will most likely be a fun time.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011): I was in that same position last year. I love to go out, have fun, have a drink, be around people, dance, chat to new people etc but when it comes to guys im not a girl who will sleep with anyone, wheter im drunk or not, but some of my friends are.I was worried that my drink would also get spiked or that a guy would actually rape me or that all my friends would find a guy and id be left alone...cuz lets face it the reason i was there had nothing to do with guys but it was a big factor for all my friends.In the end...I packed my bags, had a smile on my face and went...I had the time of my life =)I just made sure my drink never left my hand and if it did to all go dancing or whatever i got a new one. And when a guy came on too strong Id make my stance on telling him to back off (I didnt mind grinding and dancing but if they were getting to far Id just push them away) and if someone wouldnt take the no very well one of my friends would come to my aid and be like this is my gf, get lost and kiss me and pull me away (but im quite happy to make out or kiss with my friends and it works incredibly well if u want rid of a guy sometimes and sometimes turns them on but meh u can still get rid) and no-one left me by myself as i metioned it to them before we left and they were like nahh someone will always be with u and they were.So my suggestion is go for it...you only live once right!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (1 April 2011):
 I'm guessing Spring Break?If it worries you that people might drug your drink then stay safe. 1. NEVER leave your drink unguarded. (not even with friends)2. Never accept drinks from strangers.3. THE above suggestions goes for a soda or bottle of water too. 4. NEVER go places alone, have a BUDDY SYSTEM with a friend you can rely on (drunk or sober).5. YOU can have fun without drinking alcohol (trust me, sometimes just watching all the drunk dorks can be quite entertaining.) You can definently let your hair down without getting drunk.If you don't feel like going out partying one night stay in, watch a movie. But if I were yo,u I would go. You obviously sound like you have a good noggin on your shoulders. Trust your instinct and common sense. Just because a friend does something stupid.. doesn't mean you have to.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011): Hi Miss!
Good for you for having a conscience about possible ethics here and questioning what really is best for yourself. In my experience, if you dont drink in the US, people in general look down upon you and I sense your friends doing that here. they are possibly judging you, in which case are they really your friends?
They will not watch out for you cause theyll be too busy doing their own thing. You will more than likely be on your own. lol Id be your bodyguard but im overseas. My advice: Sure everything is paid for. Id talk to the airlines and see what penalties or change fees youd have to pay to cancel. Dont let the money obligate you to go. Second option, if you cannot cancel or even change your flights for a different destination, just go and do your own thing. Tell your friends that you respectfully differ from their purpose of travel and that you just feel itd be best to do your own thing. If they give you s*it for that, they have judged you and that is not right. Youre a smart woman here and its great you dont want to potentially put yourself in a bad position with alcohol and any other nonsense. Best on this.
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 Well it would help if you said where it was you are going? Some places are worse than others, so it is hard to say without knowing where you are going.
I'm a bit confused why you agreed to go in the first place? You said at first it appealed to you because it is your scene - so how is it not your scene anymore? These types of holiday are all about drinking, tanning and going on the pull (as we say here in the UK! Means meeting guys/girls and often ending up having sex) - you knew that from the start so why did you agree?
I personally (aged 23) have refused year on year to go on these types of holidays, as much as I love my friends I would never in a million years go somewhere where it is all just drink, parties and sex - it is not my idea of a holiday at all. My friends have been going to places like Aiya Napa (Cyprus), Ibiza, Zante (Greek Island), Malia (Crete) etc since they were 17/18, and because I have hated the idea all my life I have missed out on girly holidays, but I am glad because I know I would hate every minute of it.
But hopefully this will make you feel a bit better - none of my friends had any bad experiences and enjoyed themselves. No-one was drugged or struggled to deal with guys while they were there, so no trouble to report even in these major party destinations in Europe. Yes they all got very drunk, there are lots of people throwing up in the streets, people party until like 6 or 7am, sleep until midday, and then beach for a few hours in the afternoon then back out partying again in the evening. But if that is what you are into then you will love it!
It is not a pretty holiday, or a relaxing holiday, it is all about getting drunk, dancing, sleeping then repeating it all again, every night. But as long as you are prepared you should be ok. There will be hundreds, if not thousands of other girls there partying too so if any guys are trying it on with you but you keep saying no, eventually they will get bored and move on to another girl.
Just make sure you are safe at all times and dont get so drunk you lose ability to control yourself. Dont ever go anywhere alone - stay with your friends at all times, even if you feel like going back to the hotel NEVER walk anywhere alone. Dont take too much money out with you and keep it safe in the hotel room locked away. Dont wear the most ridiculously revealing outfits otherwise you will get unwanted attention from men. Take a first aid kit with you - this is important as I can guarantee now, you or one of the girls you go with will get hurt in some way, shape or form. Drunk girls, plus too much sun, plus tiredness is a recipe for falling over and getting pretty nasty cuts and scrapes. The injuries teenagers and young adults get in these places is crazy, because of all the alcohol all sensibility goes out of the window leaving you and your friends exposed to accidents. So be prepared and it will make a huge difference to you, or to a friend.
And as I said before - be careful with your drinks! DONT drink too much, know your limits and take it slow. You will already be dehydrated from the sun in the day so make sure you drink lots of water too. Good tip is to drink 1 alcoholic drink, followed by 1 soft drink. This keeps you hydrated and means you dont get as drunk. Only drink out of bottles, try and avoid anything in a glass in a club as it is easier to spike a drink in a glass. Never leave your drink unattended, if you put it down then dont drink anymore of it. Keep your hand over the top of the bottle is a good way to ensure no-one can get anything in it.
You are not on your own in the way you think, there are plenty of girls out there, me included, who really would not enjoy this type of holiday. But you have said it is your 'scene' so there must be some element of it that you enjoy and something that made you want to go in the first place. Just be careful, stay with your friends and you should be ok - you might not have the best holiday ever but there will be parts of it you enjoy and you never know, it might surprise you.
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, TEM +, writes (1 April 2011):
 It's very level-headed of you to be concerned. Sometimes things do get out of control when everyone is drinking. The fact that you are concerned about it is a good sign and, actually, a reason why an aunt like myself is less concerned. You decided to go on the trip, paid for it, etc. You are aware of the risks. Just be careful...have your fun on the beach, etc.
When it comes time to party at night, you don't have to go if you really don't want to. If you do go, order soda water with a twist - or something that looks like alcohol, but isn't. Watch your drink and pay attention to the people around you. Stay with your girlfriends always. Never go off alone or allow one of them to go off alone.
You don't sound like a girl that is going to do anything foolish. Use common sense and you'll be fine.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011): Hey,
I suggest you go since you've paid for it. I mean, it IS going to be fun and you will have a great time. But if you DON'T want to drink, then don't. Getting drunk is fun, but its not a necessity to have fun, its not the key to have fun. You can totally dance throughout the night and have a crazy time without drinking.
If you DO want a high, You could have a bit. But you should know your limits. As long as you are in control of yourself, I don't think anyone can really mess around. And if you don't want to drink, Don't let anyone force you into it.
And it will be advisable NOT to depend on friends at this point of time.
But I suggest you Go. It will be Fun :) Otherwise you will regret not going.
...............................
|
