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I'm feeling cringy and insecure about texts I sent

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Question - (9 September 2018) 4 Answers - (Newest, 11 September 2018)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am cringing because i sent a 'I missed you text as well as a follow up text saying that he doesnt have to say it back to me if he doesnt feel like it.' I started saying I miss you last week, so it's something new in our relationship.

It's been a couple hours since that text,(I sent the text 10min after he texted me that he was on the train back into town). I am hoping that maybe he slept off. But I sent that text 10min right after his text...

I dont feel secure in our relationship because of his communication style and we had some long talks about taking it a day at a time since we both dont know where we will be at (location wise) next year.

Feeling cringy for sending that but then again glad I told him

What do yall think?

View related questions: insecure, text

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (11 September 2018):

Take it easy, my dear! What's done is done! Don't sweat-it!

You have to get a handle on overthinking; because it makes a person compulsive, anxious, and constantly second-guess yourself.

The second-message was desperately telling him that he does have to reply, or it would upset you if he didn't! Judge a person's feelings by how they treat you.

Allow t hem to demonstrate their feelings by affection, consistency, and their loyalty. Reward them with trust.

Overthinking also leads to sabotaging the relationship. By causing conflict or discord. Behavior that constitutes self-fulfilling prophesy, that leads to a predictable ending.

You don't believe it's real, you don't believe you're worthy of it, and you don't feel you can trust him. That's what overthinking will tell you; if you let it get the better of you. Only time, composure, and reasonable patience will tell.

He might be the one who should feel cringy; if you make a habit of it.

Don't gauge a person's feelings for you by the timing and frequency of their phone follow-up. Constantly reassuring by the hour isn't showing you love. It's catering to your insecurity, and it becomes work.

Allow yourself to trust him. Put your phone down or across the room once you send him a message. Find things to distract your mind away from counting the minutes to a response, or you'll go nuts.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (10 September 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntThere is no harm in telling someone you miss them, its not like you declared your undying love for him. Although following up saying if he doesn't want to say the same its fine comes across as a bit desperate and needy. Try not to over think these things and take it slowly like you agreed.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 September 2018):

Honeypie agony auntIt's OK to say I miss you, but TRY not to do follow up texts (even if he doesn't text back or tell you I miss you too).

Just relax.

Or you will come off as desperate more than insecure.

If you are having a "let's take it one day at a time", I would advice you to not carry your heart on your sleeve. Put in as much affection and effort as HE does. Even if you feel you want do more.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2018):

If he on the train the signal may not be great and he may not have received it at all .. I remember texting my friend and some she got later on . It was funny. I would wait and see . But it takes less than a minute to reply .. but maybe he's not where you are at yet .. so doesnt know how to .. leave him and see what happens

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