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male
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anonymous
writes: My best friend Chad and I are very close. We are always there for each other. Chad met Lisa and the three of us all became close friends. Chad dated Lisa a couple months back and it was short and rocky. Chad remained in love with Lisa, while she just wanted to stay friends. Chad did anything and everything for Lisa. Recently me and Lisa developed feelings for each other. When Chad found out he broke down and refused to remain friends with Lisa or me. Chad was completely broken down, crying, sobbing like a relative of his had died. So Lisa told Chad they would remain friends but after a long night's talking and sneaking around, me and Lisa were definitely a couple. What should I do? Should I tell Chad and break his heart or just let things play out?
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female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (27 December 2005):
 Rather tell him, cause it would hurt him more to find out from someone else.
If Lisa really means that much to you and you willing to do anything for her then explain it to your friend. He may not like it and he may not even except it, but if he really is your friend he will tolerate it.
I know how you feel, I started daing one of my sisters friends, considering she went with him to his Matric dance and he ended up with me that night, we fought each other , but at the end of the day when i went to her and told her how I felt about him, it made it easier to be with him. She doesn't accept the relationship we now have which i can understand cause He is 18 and i'm 21 but she understands that I love him and that he makes me happy and as my sister she tolerates it.
His reaction may not even be as bad as you may think it to be. But you owe it to him to be the first person to tell him.
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (26 December 2005):
 Sooner or later he is going to find out! If I were you I would tell him now, he will probably vow to never speak to either of you again, but atleast he will be able to start the healing process. The longer you wait to tell him the worse the betrayal will feel to him so don't wait for too long. Good luck.
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female
reader, Faders_Girl  +, writes (26 December 2005):
 I think you have to know how strong your relationship is before you go breaking your mates heart again. from the way he reacted when you told him about yourself and Lisa it was obviously too soon. as you say Chad was in love with Lisa, so maybe you should have kept him in the dark a little longer then a couple of months, so he could get over her. i know you probably thought it was the best thing to do, is to openly tell him, but if you put yourself in his shoes with all the feeling he has for her, then to find out his mate and his ex that he still loves is an item. im guessing you would react the same way, i know i would. im guessing he feels heartbroken and betrayed by two close friends. i would see how strong your relationship is before you tell him. if he gets annoyed that you didnt tell him sooner, say you were trying to spare his feelings, you never set out to hurt him, but you also cant help your feelings for Lisa. he may not listen at the time you tell him but in the end if you are as close as you say you and Chad are, i doubt you will be enemies for life. if you do sort it out dont flaunt it under his nose, have a lads night now and then. hope ive helped :) x
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