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I'm dating a new guy but I'm still not over my ex

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 October 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 October 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 16-17, anonymous writes:

I am 15 , 16 in a few weeks .About 3 months ago , me and my boyfriend of a year broke up and over the summer I gave myself time to get over him . Once summer ended I got back in touch with a boy that I’ve known for about 2 years , we started to hang out and the relationship kept on flourishing , we have now been together for 3 weeks . Don’t get me wrong we get on very well but there’s always this one thing on the back of my mind . I’m not fully over my ex and I’m getting very scared as we are approaching the month mark as I don’t really want to be with him even though I am starting to like him more and more . I can tell he loves me and this is shown through his actions and words but I know I am not on the same level as him . To be honest I feel like I shouldn’t have jumped in a relationship too fast . There’s always a part of me that wants to break up with him but I’m getting out off by the fact that I will hurt his feelings a lot . What should I do ?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (8 October 2018):

Honeypie agony auntYou jumped into a new relationship too fast. You might have thought that "summer-break" was long enough to move on, but that is not always how things work, sometimes it takes longer.

2 months was obviously NOT long enough to "get over" the break up.

You have only dated "new guy" for 3 weeks. So while he might be hurt and disappointed when you tell him, I'm sorry I don't feel ready to be in a relationship. He will be a LOT more hurt if he finds out you are continuing to date him while thinking about your ex.

He LIKES you a lot, love is such a big word for 3 weeks of dating. He WILL get over you too. Eventually, just like you will get over him AND your ex.

Let him go. New guy DESERVES a girl who is as INTO him as HE is into her. That isn't you. YOU wouldn't want to be with someone who REALLY doesn't want to date you? Right?

Let him down gently and don't do the "let's be friends", it's fake. And it will stop him from moving on. Not fair.

You NEED to take responsibility for YOUR actions. In this case YOU jumped into a relationship TOO fast. It happens. so nip it in the bud before HE ACTUALLY falls in love with you and you REALLY hurt him.

Then you focus on your school, your friends, hobbies and family. And stay away from dating for a while.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (8 October 2018):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntBreak up. It’s not fair to him.

Also, please put this relationship in perspective. It’s not love. Love doesn’t happen in 3 weeks of dating. You’re really young and shouldn’t be worrying about relationships yet - it causes more trouble than it’s worth.

Let him down gently and be single for a while. Don’t start dating until you’re over your ex. You’ve got all the time in the world to date - focus on school and friends. The longer you leave it to break up, the more you’ll hurt him.

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