A
female
age
30-35,
*ophienew
writes:Hi I am just writing for some kind of advice as I am confused by the way my ex is contacting me. To cut a long story short we had been friends since school after he joined the army. A few years later we got back in touch we ended up texting every day while he was away and meeting up when he came home we got on so well, it was like he couldn't wait to speak to me and tell me about his day and want to know everything I was doing we made each other laugh this went on for like 2years we started off as friends but I honestly became besotted with the guy as we started meeting more. He then told me he was leaving for 6month to go to afghan we had a chat and told me he really liked me and wanted to meet me as soon as he got back And said to see how things went after all of this as he dint want to be involved with anyone while over there he wanted to focus on his job because he sees what his friends go through which I can understand. I was the last person he met before he went because he nagged to see me the night before leaving. During leave he dint message me.6month passed and the week he came back he messaged me I was happy we met up but he seemed different not hisself. I thought maybe he's seen things over there etc after two week he stopped speaking to me as much I was abit anoyed with him, he used to speak to me about everything. I saw him out one night I was pretty drunk and his friends we're talking to me but he hardly spoke but kept looking over got so mad as the night went on that I stupidly ended up getting in a taxi with his friend. I know it was a BIG mistake an trust me I felt so guilty he actually hated my guts I probably showed him up completely as i went back to his friends house all I did was talk about him anyway. After that we stopped talking completely things we're really bad we had an argument one night and I ended up saying sorry a few times a few weeks later but he would not speak to me i was so upset and mad with myself and wasn't like me to do this I saw him out after that but he just looked at me really sad and I looked away. I then slowly got on with my life and accepted that that's how it was. I heard he left the army a year after and got with another girl which lasted about a year. 3 years on I still think of him and feel guilt then this year out of the blue he added me on Facebook i was so shocked never thought he would ever get in touch being the type of guy he is quite stubborn. I accepted straight away. Then a month later he'd sent me a private message 'send me your number please x' I was over the moon Evan my friends we're like omg. so I sent him it. I heard nothing. So a few week later I messaged him and asked him why he wanted my number? A month later he has replied 'I just wanted it' So Iv left it a week and replied 'you have my number now text me whenever you want I'd like it' It's been two week and not heard any thing. In between all of this he has followed me on another social site and Iv accepted and has liked a few off my pictures including one saying 'if I text you all night you are special to me.' I know why he's liked that because we used to when he was away. I think what I'm asking Is what are his intentions. My friend thinks he was hurt by what happend maybe unsure what to say or to trust you again and is probably building up to something. My other friend said he's probably lonely but thinks he will defo say more or reply.my other friend said If he is lonely why come to you it's been ages surely he must have some feelings.I don't know what he's playing at I did do wrong by him I totally regret it words can't Evan describe. At the time my head was all over. What we had before was good and I know he must miss me. I'm not wanting anything other than to be on good terms with him because I do still care, I'm not chasing him he knows we're I am just want some advice on his intentions.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (17 October 2014):
 Based on all the history, or lack of history really, that you have with him, indicates his intentions are the same as they have been all along. Ever since the regrettable taxi home with his friend thing. He's keeping you in sight on the periphery of his life, just enough to know you are okay and a little about you but not enough to make you a part of his life again.
If I were in your shoes, I might take the time to have an honest convo with him about your regret and your intentions. That you want to be on good terms with him.
He may be one of those people who just can't forgive what they perceive as a betrayal. He has a fondness for you but can't ever trust you again, because of the way he's wired.
The thing is, life is short, and what's the point of you wondering here on DearCupid what his intentions are when you know how to reach and can ask him yourself? You may be rejected by him but then you'll know for certain. As it seems to be the uncertainty that is driving you mad, get it over with and find out where you stand with him. Otherwise he'll be sitting out there in the ether of social media sites, not ever really connecting with you in an authentic and real way, and he will distract you from other men who may be much more suitable for you.
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