A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What is going on with my boyfriend?. He recently added a gay man that he knows. They haven't been in touch for a long time. This man was going to have an operation to become a woman (I'm not sure if he has had it). My boyfriend told me that his friend tried to kiss him once ( that was before we met ). I saw a comment from his friend once (they were on each others friends lists then, but my boyfriend ended up deleting him ), just after me and my boyfriend met. He called my boyfriend babes and said he missed him. My boyfriend met up with him on Valentine's Day once, for a few hours in the afternoon ,and then met up with me later on. He said it was because they had been talking, and his friend had been upset. My boyfriend and his friend sent some messages to each other on facebook after that, but I'm not sure if what they said was just banter or not.This friend also sent him a comment the da yafter Valentine's Day, thanking him for the day before, and said he appreciated it more than my boyfriend knew. I thought that was odd. My boyfriend sent him a friend request again a few days ago. he said he wanted to know how he got on with his operation. They hadn't been in touch for a long time. Today, I called him, and he was angry with me. He asked me why I had taken him off my friends list, and I hadn't. He told me that he couldn't see me on his friends list. He said he thought that his friend had hacked into his account and deleted me, and said that he though that his friend was interested in him. He then deleted his friend. Before I called him, he had left me some messages, saying that he doesn't trust me, because he cant see my friends list. It is hidden, but not because I am cheating on him or anything. Does anyone think his behaviour is odd?. Do you think he deleted me, and he is lying about it?.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2014): It's another woman, not a gay man,a straight woman, he is friends with a woman, whether or not they have had the operation yet, or whether or not they ever do. Treat the situation how you would if it were another born woman, and don't let your boyfriend treat you like you're the one acting off.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2014): I think his friend may be infatuated with your boyfriend, and has been hacking into the account.
Meet-up with your boyfriend for a face to face talk. The friend may be creating drama, and your boyfriend is in a panic.
He deleted the friend for a reason, and the friend is not allowing it to happen without causing some sort of trouble.
Expecting you to overreact and be suspicious out of prejudice. It's predictable. It makes his manipulation all the more effective. He played you like a cheap fiddle.
Now is when you both should let your mutual trust help you to solve this. Not jump to conclusions and let the infatuated-friend's plot succeed. Please don't turn this into some sort of hidden affair and create suspicions that will damage your relationship. That is exactly what his friend may want to happen.
I'd say give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. I am a gay man. Nothing is worse than a suspicious girlfriend who presumes a straight man can't have a gay friend, and not be gay. In fact, it pisses me off. I have lots of straight-friends. Male and female!!! Good-looking men who are comfortable in their skin, sure of their masculinity, and have never once showed any sexual-curiosity or interest in other men. Ever!!!
Before you think the worst of your boyfriend. Talk to him and gather more facts. Calm him down, and reassure him that if you had any problem you'd let him know.
Communication is essential. Stop using Facebook, this requires your face to face attention!
Get to it!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (8 April 2014):
Except for the repeated drama, included in your submittal, I might have said: "So, your boyfriend has a buddy who is gay. So what? Big deal." BUT....
... the "drama" leads me to wonder ALL SORTS of things about your B/F..... not least of which is that these goings-on are rather sophomoric and pointless....
I'd suggest that you cool it with B/F for a while.... and learn a LOT more about other "stuff" that goes on in his life before you cast your lot with him....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 April 2014):
 I think people need to accept that FACE BOOK isn't the gospel.
YOU BF is behaving oddly. HE added a friend who is the past have hit on him and he claim he isn't interested in. However your BF might see this guy as JUST a friend. Gays and transsexuals are JUST as able to have straight friends as anyone else.
Having your friends-list hidden is FINE. IT IS YOUR Facebook page, and if you want it HIDDEN that so be it.
If having a hidden friends-list means your BF thinks he can't trust you, then your BF has issues.
There is more to this then he is letting on and NO, I don't think his friends hacked his page and deleted you. I think your BF deleted you because something else went on that he doesn't want you to see.
It's actually a pretty common "move" for someone who has something to hide to go on the offensive, that way you are more concerned with PROVING him wrong then looking for what is truly going on.
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