A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:You've read it before. The typical man is married/engaged/in a relationship and befriends a coworker, where feelings start to develop. My situation: I'm happily engaged with my fiance, but have been getting to know a coworker more in depth. From natural attraction, feelings developed that I've tried to repress, but obviously not hard enough. I read other passages of guys in this situation just to tell the other person how you feel at work. I did not, however, consider the fact - what if she is interested back? Well consider it! I foolishly followed this advice, and it turned out she likes me too. This made things increasingly difficult.I'm now caught in the middle between two wonderful women that I have feelings for. The logical answer seems simple, but I find it one of the hardest i've ever made.Do I pursue this new infatuation at work and possibly ruin the lives of both of our fiances?Do I work it out with my fiance and somehow ignore one of those "you only live once" moments in life?
View related questions:
at work, co-worker, engaged, fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Nicekid. I really do appreciate the in depth response.
This was a very risky decision, but I ended up taking your advice and coming clean with her. At first, she hated me and wanted to call off the engagement, but in the end she realized she loves me too much to end it. There were many emotions and tears that came along with this confrontation.
Everything is nearly back to normal, and my coworker dislikes me as I told her I confessed, and that my fiance wants to strangle her, so there's severance there..
I'm left in dismay. For some reason after this gigantic emotional release in the confession, I don't feel the same for my fiance.. I'm not sure I can go through with it now. We're not on the same emotional level. My feelings are out of whack and I almost feel better off alone at this point..
Sorry guys, it's one thing after the next I know.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all of your great answers. I'd like to update you on the matter.
As I moved forward with the coworker, she put a halt to my efforts and rejected me. I was grateful for this and felt lucky in a way, as it would give me a chance to rekindle my engagement. However, I didn't take the rejection too well as she still consumes my thoughts. She now wants to remain friends, and I don't think that can work. We'll still be coworkers regardless..
I feel the aftermath has damaged my relationship with my fiance and I have not told her anything yet. Many of my close friends and relatives are advising against telling her anything at all about it, but I feel I'm going to before years end. As one replier said, I will give her a shot at my honesty.
I just hate that heart in a knot feeling you get when you're anxious, nervous, or remorseful. Still, I brought it all upon myself. I just hate to bring it upon someone like my fiance who is perfectly innocent, sweet, and trusting.. Thanks again for all of your input.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2008): Why did you tell her if you didn't want something to happen? Tell your fiance what's happening, she has a right to know and it will help you make a choice. Don't cheat, it will just set up a chain of events and you could lose your fiance and you may realize you really want to be with her. There will always be women you get on with, find attrative. But you got to end it there! are you really ready to get married?
...............................
A
male
reader, nitros +, writes (21 December 2008):
 Sounds like you love both of these women, I understand its possible to love 2 women for who they are and just because you love two doesnt mean you have to love one more than the other which is what will make your decision so hard. At the end of the day its your decision though, sounds like your going to just have to chill out and have a really hard think about your feeling for both women and who is going to make you happy most. Some people may say you should stick with your fiance so you dont hurt her but I honestly belive you should be with the one person you love most no matter what. I hope you make the right decision and it all goes well :)
...............................
|
