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I'm almost certain I'm straight, except for this. Can you help please?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Forbidden love, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 October 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 4 December 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Yeah, I know you're all bored to death of these "I fancy my teacher" questions, and I can't claim that mine is different or extraordinary, but these feelings are messing up my life.

I had this (female) english teacher last year. I started of hating her, because she replaced the teacher I'd had the year before, who I'd really liked. It got close to Christmas, and I started to like her, as a teacher. The Christmas holidays arrived and I found I was missing her. I started a diary, and now when I look back on it, it's very obvious that that was when I fell in love. I call it love, you may call it an infatuation, whatever.

After the holidays I started working so hard and my grades shot up- I spent more time on english than all my other subjects combined. I was always early for lessons, so I would genrally get to chat to her for a bit, and we always got on so well, and had really similar intrests. The year ended, and the summer holidays were hell: the only thing that kept me going was the hope that I would have her this year.

Surprisingly enough (Sod's Law), I don't. But one of my best friends does have her! We have double english over a break twice a week, and we always go to her classroom during the break, so I see this teacher at least twice a week, and she's always really nice to me. She took time in the holidays to write me a list of book recommendations, actually asks me how I am and is generally wonderful.

I'm almost certain I'm straight, except for this, and I want to know how to get over her- I need to be able to get on with my life!

Thanks.

View related questions: a break, best friend, christmas, fell in love, my teacher

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A female reader, mia1525 Australia +, writes (4 December 2008):

Okay, wow.

I've read alot of the 'fancy my teacher' posts as well. And yes, they are all similar, and some more creepy than others.

But your situation nearly mirrors mine, like scarily so.

Anyway I had this english teacher last year and for the first half of the year I didn't really like her. Like I didn't hate her, but was like indifferent. Mostly because I had, like you, an english teacher the year before that I had really liked. And this new teacher didn't seem to match up.

So, after somewhere at the beginning of the second half of the year, it just switched. Like I can't explain it. I just started liking her.

And it's not in a gay way or whatever. I'm completely straight. I've realised that it's just a role model thing or whatever, and I just really admire her, but it doesn't make it any easier.

Like you again, my grades shot up. I worked so hard on english and I would stress out majorly after giving her assignments.

This year, I didn't get her but I still see her alot. And it's hard because I feel like not being able to see her makes me think about her more. And it's kind of annoying because I know it's not healthy.

And I don't really want to be feeling this way. Like I don't mind liking her as a teacher and admiring her, but not in an excessive way, which is what I am bordering on.

My suggestion, which is probably one that has been said many times, is just to purposely stop thinking about her. Just immerse yourself in other things. Like friends, boys etc. I think eventually it will die away. Well I hope it does, because it hasn't yet for me. But all you can do is try, right?

ps. feel free to message me. Maybe we can help each other lol.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all the answers so far.

In reply to Fade's questions, my mother is perfectly fine and I get on really well with her. I also have two grandmothers, a younger sister and two aunts.

It's sort of confusing what she represents to me. I don't so much as see a future with her, I just really want to be able to make her feel happy and know that she likes me.

Thanks!

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A female reader, EmKateLeonard United Kingdom +, writes (30 October 2008):

I have been expieriencing very similar feelings towards several female teachers too (i only have one male teacher currently). it scares me as being at an all girls school, i hardly come into close contact with boys, and when my feelings for these teachers began to develop, one by one, i became freaked out as i have always found lesbianism, not bad, but unnatural to me. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who's confused!

Thanks to the people who have given answers and please don't stop.

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