A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi all I'm a 16 year old virgin with a major concern, my left inner Laos is stretched and hangs down past the outer lips by quite a way, while my right labia is normal? The stretched on is also like a purple colour and rubs against my underwear and gets uncomfortable if anyone has any ideas to help with that?Another issue is that my boyfriend has had previous relationships while I haven't and I'm worried that he'll compare my vagina to his previous girlfriends and find it a huge turn off?!What are your opinions on it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (19 January 2016):
 Just to reinforce what YouWish said -- have you ever heard the joke about men only having enough blood to operate either their brain OR their penis? There's truth to it. Any time I'm close enough to examine a vulva in detail, there's no where near enough blood left in my brain to be critical.
Any teenage guy who only wants to be with a girl with "perfect" genitals has been watching too much porn and so has a warped idea about sex. A guy like that isn't worth your time or affection.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2016): Who cares how it looks if it can do the job?
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (19 January 2016):
 Your boyfriend is going to look at your vagina like a guy stuck in the desert for a week and dying of thirst is going to look at a cool glass of ice water. In that moment, do you really think he's going to compare that ice water to other glasses of ice water he's had before? NO WAY!
I'm guessing that he's going to want to dive into so fast it'll make your head spin. He'll most likely feel even MORE self-conscious than you because he doesn't want to perform badly (either with premature OR with Erectile Dysfunction). He'll know you're a virgin so he'll be worried about hurting you. If he's not a prick, he'll be considerate of birth control and disease and wear a condom (you need to make sure you are prepared as well! The pill, condoms of your own, KY lubricant and all that).
To him, vaginas aren't about bronzing them and setting them on his fireplace mantle for extended study and critique. They're about the FEEL. The sensation, the fact that you, a woman, WANT HIM to get intimate with you.
He will *not* be comparing. In fact, he worries about comparison far more than you ever will. You're a virgin, but that doesn't mean he won't fret over whether or not he's big enough for you or can satisfy you.
Don't have sex until you're ready. You're pretty young, so do not feel pressure.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (19 January 2016):
For a start I'd recommend you to think really carefully if you really think you are ready for sex. You don't need to start having sex at you age unless you really really want that and there is no external factor rushing you into that.
About your private parts concern you should get counseling from a professional like a gynecologist. I don't think it's a good idea to ask medical questions online. Most probably a professional will tell you exactly what's going on and what a proper treatment is. Specially if it makes you uncomfortable in you everyday life.
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A
male
reader, Wheeler +, writes (19 January 2016):
 Well, I cannot offer any real help with the first issues because I am a guy. ;-)
That does, however, make me qualified to answer your second question.
In this regard, guys are easy. They are not NEARLY as critical of body parts as women are (I imagine). I say this based on the endless parade of women's magazines with ridiculous headlines about how to "fix" this and "upgrade" that. There are beauty products made for women to correct slight coloration differences of the skin. Entire "systems" for nail care and beautification. And let's not even get started on hair care products.
It is more important to guys that their date or significant other NOT ALLOW THESE THINGS to become so important that they become a hang-up. I hope I am explaining this in a way that makes sense. If the two of you are being intimate and you shut down and he senses that and asks you why and you tell him that is the reason then I can promise you the fact you were hung up on that will be the ONLY reason things get weird or don't progress (or even worse end right there).
We all have a list of things we don't like about ourselves. For you, being so young and inexperienced with dating (Don't worry, THAT is something we all have in common in our history!) it is probably very difficult to balance your self-consciousness about this aspect of your body and the natural desire to seem perfect to a love interest.
Long story short, guys are not going to get hung up on something so very insignificant. It will become an issue, however, if you let him see it is an issue for you.
At least at the beginning. If you end up with this guy, and after becoming comfortable decide to tell him about it later on down the road then of course do so.
Keep in mind that the guy without a doubt has his own set of body issues.
Also, there is a reason ex's are ex's. Apparently they were not right together, and therefore aren't together.
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