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I'm 7 weeks pregant and really scared.

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 November 2007) 15 Answers - (Newest, 10 December 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

This is a bit long, sorry but i need some help!!

Okay, im 16 years old and in 2 months will be 17.

My boyfriend is also 16 and in 1 and a half months will be 17.

We've been together since we were 12 but only became sexually active a few months ago.

Problem,

2 months ago one of my supposed best friends, invited him round to help her plan one of their friends birthday party's, i couldn't attend because i had already made plans to go shopping that day with a girlfriend of mine.

When i finish shopping i go to her house and i find them in bed together!!!! I honestly cant say i stuck around long enough to find out what was going on, but last month after me and my boyfriend split up she told me that she gave him a date rape pill which kinda explained why he had no idea what he had done!

I reported her to the police immediately and she was questioned, i don't know what happened about that yet.

I forgave my boyfriend as of course it seemed i knew more about what he had done than he did! Now i'm pregnant, but i'm not sure my babies going to be alright with the amount of heartache i still feel!!

What should i do?

Apart from tell my boyfriend of course,

I'm 7 weeks pregnant and really scared!!

Any advice please!!

Darla

x

View related questions: best friend, split up

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008):

Hey I read your story and that is crazy. I would be so upset if my best friend did that to my boyfriend. Do what's best for you and the baby, I have a feeling if you were together since you were 12 he does love and care about you very much. I am 16 too, I will be 17 in January, I just found out I was 3 weeks pregnant and I'm keeping my baby. My boyfriend is 19 he will be 20 in January too. I told him I was pregnant and he wants be to keep the baby too, I've been with him for three years now and last year on new years I got pregant and had an abortion three months later. I still wish I never done that. But I am happy scared and nervous about having this baby now. If you need anything or would like too ask me something let me know.

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A female reader, muffy United States +, writes (24 December 2007):

muffy agony auntok,if you want the baby then keep it.if your certain that your boyfreind will be able to help support the baby then you should have it.and keep an eye on yer boyfriend and make sure your friends are your friends and not rapists.

i hope i helped

love and kisses

feel free to message me if you need anything

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A female reader, maggie1987 United Kingdom +, writes (3 December 2007):

maggie1987 agony aunthey well dont think of losing the baby because of heartache i went through a lot when i was pregnant with people making rumours and telling lies but really they are sad and pathetic little people i was always worried i would lose my baby but i thought to myself no matter what happens i will try to put it to the back of my mind and focus an my pregnanvy because pregnancy should be a happy time of your life when you feel your own baby growing inside you so hold your head up high and be proud of yourself dont let anyone or anythng get you down and especially if someone is getting you down never show them that your felling down show them you dont care and nothing gets you down. be happy and bring your child into the world and be the best mum you can.

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A female reader, siobhankay United Kingdom +, writes (27 November 2007):

siobhankay agony auntglad to hear that :)

good luck x

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A female reader, pgissyd United Kingdom +, writes (27 November 2007):

pgissyd agony auntOk Darla, I must admit, Im pleased to hear that :D. Now get yourself to the doctors quick sharp girl xxxxxxxxxxxx

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (26 November 2007):

love-him agony auntHey babe glad to hear it, keep an eye on your boyfriend in the future :) xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ive decided to keep the baby and stay with my boyfriend.

I walked on them with him underneath her on top, as i said i didnt stick around but i know as he attempted to come after me he didnt look very well, of course i presumed it was guilt.

Darla.

x

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A female reader, pgissyd United Kingdom +, writes (26 November 2007):

pgissyd agony auntThe stress your under shouldnt effect the baby too much. Though you need to go and see your doctor and get booked in with the midwife. Ifyour really concerned you can oush for an early scan, You should have you first appointment with the midwife at 8 weeks anyway and she will settle all your fears and talk through all the pros and cons of having the baby.

I asnt questioning if your boyfriend and friend had told the truth, I just gave you the option of looking up the side effects of all the date rape drugs.

It is very easy to get hold of them these days, and most shouldnt effect weather a guy gets an erection or not, in fact I believe some actually cause erections, so I wasnt doubting for a moment, it was just some of the others were questioning so I thought I would let you decide yourself.

As far as the baby is concerned, you need to see the doctor now, get booked in with the midwife and have a long talk with them. They will be able to help you decide where to go from here.

Please dont worry about the stress affecting your baby, for one thing it shouldnt effect it and for another, worrying about it will only cause you more stress.

Take care hun, please let us know what you decide xxxx

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (26 November 2007):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntWhat position were they caught in?

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A female reader, sazzii United Kingdom +, writes (25 November 2007):

sazzii agony auntyou should think about the future. My sister went through something similar six months ago so I know a bit about it. My sister forgave her boyfriend but he still has a guilty concious about it and is starting to get frigid around Rachel-my sis- give him a chance and see where it goes from there.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I trust my boyfriend, and i know a daterape pill wasnt the only thing he was given, my friend admitted all of this to me! I even got shown the packets. PLease dont criticise him it was praactically rape and how would you like it if you were raped and then critised?

Second thing i havent spoken to my parents since i moved in with my boyfriend about 5 months ago so they wouldnt help. But i know my boyfriends a good guy and will support me and the baby,

Nevertheless, im still terrified!! I dont know what to do, do i keep the baby and hope its okay with the stress?

Or do the unthinkable til my heads straight?

Thanks

Darla

x

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A female reader, pgissyd United Kingdom +, writes (25 November 2007):

pgissyd agony auntDarla, I have found a website you may find helpful about date rapedrugs and there effects, so you can make up your own mind if it was true or not.

[url=http://www.coolnurse.com/date_rape.htm]date rape drugs and there effects[/yrl]

If the above link doesnt work, copy and paste this into your browser and hit go...

http://www.coolnurse.com/date_rape.htm

As far as the child inside you is concerned, do you really want to be a mum at 17? This is a question YOU have to answer, you havent actually said if you want to keep it or not.

Then there is the reaction of your boyfriend when you tell him, he may stand by you, even ask to marry you. But he may run as far and fast as possable in the other direction!

Lets take the worst case scenario, You decide to keep the child, boyfriend runs a mile, how do you tell your parents about it all? Can you face being a single teenage mum?

Best case, bofriend sticks by you, marries you in a yr or two, mum is thrilled and helps out loads finacially....

You have to think long term here.

I personally am anti abortion, but I believe all individuals should be able to make there own choices. If I were to give personal advice, it would be to have the baby, sod the boyfriend and hope you folks will help you out. Hell at least when you hit 40 you will have your own life right?

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A female reader, siobhankay United Kingdom +, writes (25 November 2007):

siobhankay agony auntI think you need to think about you

In your head put your boyfriend to one side

Do YOU want the baby?, that's all that matter hun this is YOUR child just as much as his, yes you can talk to him and ask him but can you really trust him after what happend? As phiatiger said, a date rape pill would take away all your strength and hunny, it doesn't take your memory.

but now you have to think for your child not just your self, I think you need to tell your parents (if you haven't already) and get there support and get them to help you make the right decision for YOU.

not a decision for them, or for you boyfriend or the baby just you, because if it isn't right for you it won't be right for anyone

hope i helped x x x

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (25 November 2007):

love-him agony auntHi sugar, what a terrible thing to happen! It is excellent that you reported her, and still keep any eye out on your boyfriend.. I think, if you want this child and love and trust your boyfriend, have the baby with your boyfriend, however, only do this if you are completely sure you love him, and know you will treat this child correctly, with money, love, and a roof over it's head. I wish you all the luck in the world, feel free to mail me about anything you want :) x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007):

Firstly I would like to say I think your friend and boyfriend are both lying and playing games with you, luckily by reporting her to the police it may bite them both on the bum. I was the victim of a date rape pill and there is no way your boyfriend would have been able to perform in that way. I was like a bag of bones and could barely even move my lips to speak so I severly doubt that he would have been able to get an erection even if she did all the work.

I think your boyfriend needs to be dumped. I think it is very unfortunate that you are pregnant to him and I hope that you know that you have optians if you dont want to go through with the pregnancy.

If however you do want to keep the baby, be prepared to have to parent it on your own because your boyfriend is unreliable. Try not to be too stressed as it can cause complications during pregnancy - to your health more than the babies. Im sure you will have a happy, healthy baby once you get the loosers out of your life. Date rape is not something to be lied about.

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