A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heya, I'm 17, still a virgin and .. I really don't want to be! All my friends are in relationships and having lots of sex or just having sex anyway. I have quite a lot of male friends that I am close friends with and feel confident around but I seem to avoid any guy I find sexually attractive ... yeah, weird right? I also have lots of sexual fantasies that get me excited just thinking about them yet I don't even have a boyfriend. I want to lose my virginity before I become 18 - less than three months. How do I go about doing this?!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009): Do you mean "I want sex" by the phrase "I want to lose my virginity"? One must have sex becoz they want sex. Having sex for any other reason can be complex becoz even some people who had sex becoz they wanted it, feel they should have waited or something like that. Anyways... wanting sex and having sex are perfectly natural things. I suspect that you are having an inner conflict. That is why you try to avoid the guys you want sex with. You have to clear your mind first. Make sure what you really want. Think about the possible consequences and whether you are ready to handle them. Once you have made sure what you want, go for it. Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009): Your only 17, think about. You only get the title "virgin" which means basically "i won't have sex until I'm married." Sex, to all girls and guys, seems a life-time away once in puberty. Even though you are out of puberty, that sex urge has not gone away, actually, knowing you are almost an adult, it is probably stronger. If you don't want to be a virgin, are you truly willing to have unpretected sex? Masterbait may be an option until you get married. If you find a guy, who you are close with (very), if you both AGREE to have sex, be tested both for aids, make sure you have birth-control, and let your family know.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (11 October 2009):
 Hey sweetness,
I remember that I was determined to lose my virginity by 17. And I had lots of opportunities, but the guys just were so icky and pathetic, so I held out. And held out. And held out. And then suddenly, my 17th birthday was around the corner, and all the sudden, it just didn't seem important anymore. And, I just wasn't wanting to have sex with anybody who crossed my path. I, like you, was not sexually attracted to any guy. I thought, hey - I'm obviously waiting for someone, so I guess I'll keep waiting. And man alive, am I glad I did! I ended up losing my virginity at 19 to the guy I found massively sexually attractive, and who I ended up marrying, and that is just awesome. I always thought I'd sleep around, but you know what? Even if I didn't marry him, I would have never regretted waiting until him. The experience was AWESOME and way better than most all of my friends.
If you're desperate to lose your virginity, there are tons of guys out there who will be thrilled to take it. But who the hell wants to sleep with a guy just stoked to get some ass? Those guys are a dime a dozen, and you're worth the wait and the effort. And, if you sleep with a friend, that's a sure way to ruin a perfectly good friendship.
Hold out for a guy who's worth it and who makes you sexually attracted to him. Trust your gut instinct - you're not sexually attracted to these guys because they're not the one for you! Once you're with a fella who is treating you well and making you feel gorgeous, and who you feel that chemistry with, you'll know it's right and you'll be happy you waiting. Not to mention, the sex will be SO MUCH HOTTER and amazing!! Go by your own schedule, not by a time frame!
Good luck, sweetness!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009): I am 21, a virgin, and I dont really care about losing it to any random girl. You first time should be something special, intimate, and safe. Dont worry about just finding some guy so you can have sex. Worry about creating a loving relationship someone and if that leads to a sexual relationship as well, than thats great. Sex shouldnt be your top priority.
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A
female
reader, OmShantih +, writes (10 October 2009):
 Why on earth are you in such a rush to lose this??
Trust me, you dont want to be! Save it until you meet the right guy, are in a relationship where you feel safe, secure, comfortable and respected. I lost my virginity through a one night stand, and I look back now and think wow you were dumb!
What your message says to me is that, you are curious, excited and hormonal but know deep down you arn't ready and thats why your avoiding the guys you find attractive!
You as a woman deserve alot better than a quick fumble, you don't gain instant respect once you lose your virginity!
Never the less, you will do what you want to do anyway please just use as much contraception as you can, but I would seriously reconsider your views on this!
Love and Light.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 October 2009):
Easy there. Imagine for one moment, that you so want to lose your virginity, that you go with the first guy who then uses you and hurts you. Then think about whether you'd want that. I don't think you would. There is no rush to lose it. If you rush, those bad guys will see you, use you and then leave you nursing a broken heart. Don't be in a rush to lose your virginity. Take your time to find the right guy, because it's far better to find the right guy once, than the wrong guy twice and be very hurt and regret losing it. Be proud, you haven't given in to a lowlife. Find and get to know a good guy, then it will be something special. All the best.
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