A
female
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:Okay so im kinda new at this "advice" thing so please take it easy on me........okay so my bf and i have been together for going on 11 months and one week after my birthday on 2-28 i broke my virginity..later we had sex again and started to do it more (unprotected)...i am 15 and my boyfriend is 18 and he says that he wants a family and i really believe he does...soo we used the method of "pulling out" and it was going good until one day i told him that a little got on me but i wasnt sure how much...so we started thinking about having a baby and we started preparing...1 week later we took a test and it came up negative but by then we had already got our hopes up on having a child so instead of getting birth control, like we had planned to do if the test showed up neative, we decided to try again but on purpose this time...so we continued to try and we had sex a few weeks later and instead of pulling out he just "let it out" inside of me..he didnt tell me til i asked him the next day because he wanted it to be a surprise so that when i took the test it came up positive and i would be happy...so as we continue to try we continue to plan...we are now planning on moving in together soon and are expecting a baby.....Here's where the problem comes in at: My mom is a very cool person but for something like this to happen she would just go crazy...we decided to tell her about it when i start showing and when we have the apartment ready....im scared to tell her because the type of person she is she would beat me and put me out...im worried that shes gonna hurt my unborn baby and me. My bf and i are really in love and i can really see myself with him for the rest of my life...but at the same time i really want my mom to be in my childs life because it will be her first grandchild..but im afraid that she wont want anything to do with me or my baby..i just want to know what i should do...should i just get it over with and deal with her not being in my life or should i beg her to just be there..she doesnt have to spend any money on my baby because i know for a fact that she wont but i just want to see my mothers face in the delivery room when i have my baby..i want to hear her tell me and my bf congradulations even if she doesnt mean it..im going to be dying for my mothers love and support even though she will probably be ashamed at me i just want her to be there when that day comes...
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx...im going to tell her soon
A
female
reader, girlnextdoor19592003 +, writes (6 April 2008):
You dont know this yet, but you will when you hold your baby the first time.....Your mother loves you UNCONDITIONALLY....she has made mistakes and so will you. Her initial reaction will not be calm and collected...but if there is one person in your life that you can count on it is your Mother......dont sell her short, but DONT WAIT to tell her, you need her support NOW...and best of luck and ((((((((((big hugs)))))))))))))
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUPDATE!
I took a pregnacy test Friday April 4 and it said that i AM pregnant....I came on here to get advice and all i got was put-downs from people who thought they knew what they were talking about...seems like they didnt....i didnt ask if this was a good decision i asked for advice on telling my mother and all i got was people calling me stupid lil girl...i thought this site was for advice when you needed it from mature older ones but seems like its just somethin to play on in your spare time
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): I think you are just one stupid young girl...you have your whole life ahead of you and now you just ruined it like the said above I hope your mom takes you back in her home after you have told her good luck
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A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (30 March 2008):
congrats for the desired result, you're pregnant, you've obviously made up your mind on whats going to happen now im not gonna lecture you on THAT.
HOWEVER - if you want to get pregnant at 15 that was your choice, now your an adult and with rosponsility EVERYTHING has a consequence, i this case you will start to show and your mum will be pissed off at you. Give her time she will calm, tell her asap cause it will just piss her off more if she feels she is the last to know. x
good luck x
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A
female
reader, Leanna +, writes (30 March 2008):
If you think your mother is the type of person to hurt you or your child, then why are you selfishly putting yourself through this?
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A
female
reader, Blakforst +, writes (30 March 2008):
i guess, some people, are born to be mothers. Maybe you too. But don't you think 15 is abit early? And your bf, sure he's 18. But is he able to hold a stable job to look after the both of you, and the baby, and keep a roof over your head, and feed all of you? Is he able to do that?
Now, you're pregnant. Fantastic. You really want this baby huh? Then, I thin the only thing left to do is to tell your mum. There is nothing you can do that might magically make her nice about the hwole thing. What mother would be happy? You already knew that your mum would kick you out. So why didn't you wait? You just have to tell her. If she keeps you, and be there for you as you want it to, then fine and good. But if she gets mad, and kicks you out, then except it. Cos you knew the consequences.
Either ways, she wouldn't be happy. 15 is no age to get pregnant. No age to have sex either. Do realise that no matter what, your bf is going to jail. That's for sure. Whether you like it or not. It's the law. For an 18 year old, he should have realised that, and waited till you were older. If you two really love each other, you should have waited. Cos after studying, and getting married, you'd have all the time in the world to have a baby.
But, as soon as you start to show, and others find out who the dad is, your bf's going to jail, and you're going to have to start fending for yourself, if your mum kicks you out.
I suggest, you pray really hard that your mum takes you in. I hope you realise the gravitas of the situation that you're in. God bless.
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