A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am 14 and there are not many virgins in my year i am a virgin and i feel presured into having sex all my freinds have either been fingerd or wanked of someone i havent. am i a freak? or are "they too youg too soon" is it me or everyone else? a boy said at school if you are 14 and a virgin its embaresing although i have always thought that it is embarresing if you are 14 and not a virgin.are todays youth growing up too fast? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): I HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME FEELINGS!
what you've gotta realise is this, (the best piece of advice I ever got to be honest)
WHO GIVES A FLYING F*CK IF THEY'RE TOO FAST OR YOU'RE TOO SLOW!
it's your choice not theirs! I only had my firstkiss a few days ago and I'm nearly 15...and believe me I'vebeen depressed about it, been close to suicide.
babe you're 14. do you really wanna be viewed as the type who has sex at that age? who cares if all your mates are sluts, the fact is that you're not a slut, you're a decent, self-respecting person. what they have isn't love, and it isn't 'teenage fun' either, its just sluttyness.
'ooo i got fingered ooo i had sex look at me everyone' that really isn't cool.
I myself, speaking as a guy the same age as you, don't go near slutty girls at all, I hate most non-virgins but i know some and am friends with some.
BEING A SLUT WILL NOT GET YOU FRIENDS, POPULARITY, OR A GOOD REPUTATION OR A NICE PAST TO LOOK BACK ON.
A
female
reader, LULU'S Advice +, writes (20 December 2007):
 Do not take any notice of what every one else is saying.You are your own person and if your not ready to have sex then don't.So many young people these days think it's a race to lose their virginity as soon as possible.Think how special it would be if when you find the right man,you are both virgins.There are so many sexual diseases and unwanted pregnancies these day,it's just not worth the risk my love.Don't think of yourself as a freak for being a virgin,think of yourself as special because you aren't doing what every one else does. xx
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (20 December 2007):
 who are you hanging with? I never had that at 14. Of cource most 14yr old are virgins, alot are properly lieing. Just be proud of the fact your a virgin, in a couple of years time you look back and think how slutty they all were.
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A
male
reader, Moviefan  +, writes (20 December 2007):
 Dont feel bad and dont listen to them im 18 and have been preasured to use girls and to have sex on many occasions. but i have refused to use others and to have sex with someone i dont care for. Dont do something u dont want to do. Im still a virgin, i havent had any sexual acts done to me at all. Meaning no blow jobs etc. NOTHING
And you probably have heard that it feels god to be able to give yourself to the person you love and have had a long relationship with if your a virgin. The people who come to your school dont lie. It feels good to be able to tell the person you love that there your first. It does i almost did this myself recently and probably days before we were going to do it she hurt me and left me. And ended up pregers with another guys kid days later, she wasnt a virgin i was but i didnt care because i loved her for reason that were not physical. but i am kind of glad i didnt now becuase she kind of went back to her ex. I would of spent the rest of my life with her as long as that was what she wanted.
TRUST ME WAIT AS LONG AS POSSIBLE UNTIL YOU FIND SOMEONE YOU TRULY LOVE FOR REASONS OTHER THEN SEX AND LUST.
You will feel really good about yourself when you can give your whole self to the guy you really love and wouldnt mind spending the rest of your life with.
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A
female
reader, Josetta +, writes (20 December 2007):
It's okey not to have sex whean you're 14, you're too young and i should know, i'm a girl
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A
female
reader, hugs2muchgal +, writes (20 December 2007):
 Yes. Today's youth is growing up too fast. I'm 16, and almost all my friends are virgins, and proud of it. It's honestly a personal decision and if your "friends" are pressuring you, then they are not really your friends. Be proud that you have morals and are waiting. Be proud that you can still enjoy adolesence without worry of stds and pregnancy.
This isn't a matter of you vs them, it's a personal decision. Never let anyone pressure you. If they ask how far you've been just say "it's a secret" in a tone that suggests there may be a story there and then they will have no clue whether or not you are a virgin and hopefully leave you alone. Trust me, once you're older and find a guy you truly want to be with, he'll be happy you waited. Guys want easy girls for fun, virgins or respectable girls(girls with self confidence and real opinions) for real relationships.
You'll be fine, just hold your head up high!
Good luck,
Hugs
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): OH MY GOD!! there have been so many posts like this from people your age! its so worrying!!
what the hell is going on in schools these days? dont worry im not like 90 or anything, i only left school a few years ago but this is crazy!
there was always the "everyones at it" thing, when most of that was lies anyway
but it seems like the pressure on you guys these days is huge!!
Omg, trust me hun, when you get older it will be a GOOD thing that you didnt lose your virginity to some scum bag in school
when u want a serious relationship with someone, they will have far more respect for you knowing u didnt cop off with someone at 14.
Seriously, i hope u wait because number one you'll enjoy it more when you're in a situation when you're happy and 2 wait til your older and feelings change!!
its a stupid trend at the moment it seems, you watch in 6 months time it'll be the ones who arent the easy lay that are popular and the ones going round having sex that are the freaks!!
you will have far more respect for yourself and other people will give u far more respect in the future if u dont get pressured into these silly immature games.
good luck x x x
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