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*ulu

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After 5 years together neither of us feels the thrill any more. Time to move on?

Q.   I'm in a relationship for 5 years, now. It feels like an old married couple. Nothing exciting is happening anymore. Maybe it is both of us feeling the same thing, and don't want to hurt each other by moving on. What to do? stay work it out or it is ...

A.   24 October 2005: move on, it maybe hard after 5 years but it sounds like its what you both want. if you can find happiness somewhere lese then go for it. theres no point in being in something thats not exciting and making you happy.... (read in full...)

Who should have the condoms?

Q.   This probably sounds stupid, but who is supposed to carry a condom: the female or the male?...

A.   23 October 2005: it shouldnt matter, if you dont want to get an STD or pregnant then you both should carry them. Its playing safe that counts!... (read in full...)

Should I have sex with my boyfriend. If so, where?

Q.   I need to know if I should have sex with my boyfriend. I'm 16; he is 18. If I should or decide to, where should we do it at? What do I do physically with him?...

A.   22 October 2005: i totally agree with 'not again'.if you cant decide then you dont want to. you will know when the time is right and you wont have any hesitations.... (read in full...)

Mum doesn't recognise that I'm old enough to be alone with a boy!

Q.   I'm 14. I feel im mature enough to be alone with a guy. My Mom never listens to me and just always tells me to leave her alone. I've tried to talk to her, but she just won't listen! She thinks I'm immature, irresponsible, and too young to be alone ...

A.   12 September 2005: although i can understand your point of view, i can see your mums too. i mean you are 14 and still a child to her. she thinks you are too young to date and maybe shes right, however she cannot stop you from feeling this way. you have lpenty of time ... (read in full...)

The girl I want is attracted to someone who doesn't love her!

Q.   I have a friend that I love very much. A few weeks ago she had some guy contact her but everybody and I knew that he was a bad guy and he has many girlfriends. He doesn't love her for real. But she loves him very much. What should I do? ...

A.   4 September 2005: I know it maybe hard but some how you have to distant yourself from this situation. If you are seen to interfere too much you will push this girl further towards this guy. You can be subtle and voice your opinion but not so she thinks you are ... (read in full...)

He's not the sort of boy that I'm really interested in going out with, but I want to keep him as a friend!

Q.   I am seventeen years old. I have a problem and I don't know what to do about it. I am friends with a nice boy. He's a really genuine boy and he is a really good friend to me. We get on really well and always have got on really well since we be...

A.   4 September 2005: Just wait and see what happens. It is a proven fact that when we know someone is attracted to us we 'seem to have feelings for them that we wouldnt normally'. This is known as fear of rejection. Maybe you are convincing yourself that you fancy this ... (read in full...)

Problems deciding whether to get back with my ex...

Q.   I wouldn't say that I am anything special, but I never have the problem of lack of boys. But the boy I went long term with wants to get back together with me. I do really like him. I like another boy but he says he will only when I am over my ex. T...

A.   3 September 2005: you should only be with anyone, whether its your boyfrien or your ex if you really want to be. if you are unsure of your feelings to both your current bioyfriend and your ex then you should take time to figure out what it really is you want and ... (read in full...)

What's the difference between "loving" and "being in love with" someone?

Q.   Hi, My partner and I had a discussion on 'just loving someone' and 'being in love'. He doesn't see a difference. He believes that when two people are in a relationship and they love each other then they are 'in love together'. This came abou...

A.   29 August 2005: i dont believe that you can define love. what you believe love is, is probably not the same as your partners. as you said its something you feel and there are no two people who experience the same thing, feel the same way about it. there are no ... (read in full...)

I get nothing but criticism and accusations from my boyfriend. What should I do?

Q.   Hi, I am a 19 year old male and I'm in a relationship with a 40yr old male. We have been having problems now for months. He spends more time with everybody else with me. He's nasty to me, he puts me down, he tries to stop me talking to my family and ...

A.   23 August 2005: why are you with this man? you are 19 and should be out having fun with your friends.nobody should be denying you of your youth. as for the criticisms, why should he have the right to put you down? he will only put you down and give you low self... (read in full...)

My parents don't approve of my boyfriend...

Q.   I am going to be 14 in December and my boyfriend is 19. I really like him and I feel he is the one for me. My parents don't approve. How can I be with him without him getting in trouble and get jail time? He says he don't want to go to jail but...

A.   23 August 2005: firstly you must not get yourself in to trouble. As you are under the legal age limit of sex, this man can be jailed as you say. do you think he wopuld go to jail to be with you? at your age it might seem as though you are in 'love' with this man ... (read in full...)

Why won't my boyfriend spend more time with me?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. He has more time for his mates than me and this is starting to really upset me. How can I make him want to spend more time with me? Am I being selfish?...

A.   17 August 2005: Firstly no you arent being selfish! its is only natural that you want to spend time with your boyfriend. I suggest that you talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. This is the only way to let him know. Maybe he doesnt realise he is hurting ... (read in full...)

I was happy to be his girlfriend, but now he's moody and less affectionate!

Q.   Hi there. I'm am a 20 year old female. I met a my boyfriend about 3 months ago. We hit it off and became friends. However, we also kissed and such which eventually led to the loss of my virginity. He recently (about two weeks ago) asked me to be ...

A.   17 August 2005: the only way to get to know is by asking him. nobody should be in a relationship that they dont want to be in. its the only way that you will know where you stand.... (read in full...)

We don't want to use condoms, but how do I get on the Pill?

Q.   Hey, I'm 17 years old and I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for around 5 months now. I'm a virgin and we have talked about having sex several times and we are both fine with the idea of it. The only problem is that I'm a bit scared a...

A.   16 August 2005: As the others have said, condoms are not 100% effective. However, they do help protect both youre self and your partner from gaining STI's. It is possible to use both condoms and the pill. But first you need to be 100% sure you are both ready.... (read in full...)

All the boys just want to have sex, but I'm scared I'll get pregnant...

Q.   I am 15 and I usually have boyfriends all the time but lately all they want to do is have sex. I am still a virgin and I wanna do it but I'm scared I will get pregnant. I have been fingered before. Help me, what should I do? Plus all my friends are ...

A.   8 August 2005: If you have doubts then don't do it. Youre first sexual experience should be with someone you love and who loves you as much in return. You will be more admired and respected for waiting rather than having "sex" because youre friends are. You should ... (read in full...)

One of the big questions...

Q.   How can I tell if his in love with me?...

A.   11 July 2005: You will never know that he loves you until he actually comes out and says it himself! Don't pressurize him into saying it because you may get an unwanted response. He will tell you when he knows himself.... (read in full...)

Mum gives my sister comfort and support, but she won't do the same for me!

Q.   I have a problam with my family. The cause is I have one older sister. She is a kind of perfect girl. My mom very pround of her. She talk to everyone about her. My sister seem to be success in everything she want to do. Sometime when she did a ...

A.   11 July 2005: Firstly you should not try and compare yourself to your sister. You are two very individual people and your mother should recognise it. I suggest that you sit down with your mum and explain how you feel as though youre not good enough. Im sure she ... (read in full...)

Six months after we broke up, I still worry about my ex and other guys...

Q.   Hi, In February me and my girlfriend split up after 2 years. The split happened whilst we were in university together. We were friends for two years to begin with then we decided to have a relationship and go to the same university becau...

A.   10 July 2005: As you have not been apart long you are bound to have feelings for one-another. Especially if this relationship was one of you're first serious relationships. I think that you both need to sit down together and explain how you both feel. Eventually ... (read in full...)

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