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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hiya I am 13 and my mum is threatening to kick me out! i have a bf bout 3 yrs older than me and we had an incident (not sexually) and nows she threatening me and my bf sed he would help me but his mum is trying to keep him away from me. I love him so much and if i dont get through this i wont see him a gain. Pleas help x thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2006): If your mom kicks you out at 13, she is breaking the law. You are a child legally until you turn 18 and it is her responsibility to take care of you. For her to kick you out is a form of abuse called neglect ans she could be arrested.
She's just trying to control you. My advice is to gain more independence (like a driver's liscence in 3 years) before she tries to take over your life (I speak from experience). That being said, she's probably worried that your bf will be a bad influence and lead you into drugs. sex, and alcohol. If he actually is or does, stop dating him immediently - he is using your youth and inexperience for his own personal gain (like tricking you into sex). If he's a genuinely nice guy and doesn't have a negative influence on you, tell your mom openly that you're responsible and would never have underage sex, or drink alcohol or do drugs. Come home on curfew, ect. Be and act trustworthy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHanks for the great advice i will try both of them as i am of great stress thank you xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2006): I think you can alternatively sit down and have a good talk with your mom. Tell her about the things that go on between you and him, and what you plan on doing for the other parts of your life - eg: school, work, goals, etc - like to try to reassure her about your maturity, etc. Another thing to bring up is to ask her to give you guidance throughout your relationship with the boy, rather than just simply try to scare you off with threats like that.
I once got so pissed off at my parents that I exploded out saying this in Cantonese, "Good parents don't threaten the children. They don't try to make us see. They don't force us to do the things they believe are good for us. Instead, they are our guidance, our beacon during stormy weather. With you, I feel beaten (not literally) and worn out half the time." Etc...
They've gotten a bit tamer and easier to manage nowadays. Then again, I am double plus your age... 8]
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (14 December 2006):
 I think your mum is just very worried about you - she has just expressed her concern in a bad way. Parents don't always get it right and what she really means is that she doesn't want you to see him as she thinks you are too young to be dating a 16 year old; she thinks that frightening you will get you to do as she says. You are at a difficult age somewhere between childhood and adulthood - you may think your mother is being a pain but when you are older you will understand her concern and perhaps appreciate it. No one should be encouraging you to date an older guy and particularly if this is a sexual relationship - equally I am not saying it is wrong to have a slightly older boyfriend so long as you don't feel under pressure to start a sexual relationship that you are too young for. You should also be aware that if you are old enough to date, you are old enough to respect your parents wishes too. You just have to establish trust with your parents (both of you) and maybe they will come around to the idea in time. If she really does throw you out onto the streets then you can contact social services or the police that have a legal duty to protect you as a minor in the eyes of the law. However, I rather suspect this is just your mum's way of scaring you.
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