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female
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anonymous
writes: Can people still be attracted to someone several years on?I ask this because when I was a teenager I became quite close to a male family friend. The family actually lived abroad but this boy came to stay at our house for a couple of weeks one summer. I remember the first time things happened he made it obvious that he liked me, we kissed and cuddled and were just became very close.The next time we met up a few years later we went out for a drink as he was staying at his nan's house and we got intimate. I knew he had been in a relationship but wasn't sure why he was doing this as we hadn't contacted each other it was just our parents who stayed in touch. It seemed that every time we met up whether it was 2 years or 5 years later we seemed to carry on where we left off. I was attracted to him and he supposedly to me.A couple of years later I went to stay with his family abroad and again we became close and intimate he told me that he fancied me but obviously nothing further could happen relationship wise as we lived too far away from each other which was fine as we were still quite young then. Again when he visited me a couple of years later to see his nan we met up, got intimate again. However the last time I saw him was five years ago and on that occasion it seemed like nothing had ever happened between us, he acknowledged me and spoke generally but that was it.The reason I have asked all this is that I will be going to a family wedding next month and he will be there. Surely if there was no spark last time it means there is no longer a spark between us. We always seemed to have a special bond with each other and he always mucked about with me in front of his family and mine knowing we had a bit of a thing between us - does this fade in time because I would like to go to this wedding and just be able to speak normally with him without bringing all the feelings back - can that happen.Hope someone can advise.
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (26 June 2007):
 I think with time and distance things change over the years and this is obviously the case from his point of view as his reaction and behaviour with you last time indicates that he was either with someone and felt respect for them to not muck around with you again.
Go to the wedding sweetheart and hold your head high, you have nothing to feel guilty about, you were attracted to one another and things happened, distance and growing up happened so don't read anything further into this.
If you were meant to be together then I think there would have been more contact in between the years apart. Your families are connected and probably always will be.
Do you know if he is now with someone or not?
If he is then perhaps taking a male friend along would mean that you appear unavailable and if he is already with someone then you will not feel alone.
On the other hand if he is not with someone then go along with your family and just enjoy the wedding and just be pleasant and as you are older now I think being able to say hi and how are you is fine.
If he does not bring up the past then don't you.
Hope it goes well for you.
Take care.
BFN
Country Woman
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