A
male
age
30-35,
xnickx
writes:-Introduction-At first, I was going to call this article “You Can Get Any Girl You Want” but that’s false, and too cliché for my liking. This article isn’t telling you how to get any girl you want, it’s more any girl I want. The truth is, you will never be able to get every girl out there to like you. But, if you are confident and listen to this advice, you’ll win more than a few girls over. This guide was written with teen guys in mind, but could be used the other way around too. Possibly in the near future ill write one from the opposite point of view. But until then…-Selection-You’re a single guy. Maybe you’ve been single forever. Maybe you’ve just been crushed by the love of your life. Or maybe you just think it’s time for a change of pace. Either way, you’re looking out into the market, shopping for love. But just like any other investment, you’re going to want to put thought into it. You don’t want to just take the first thing that comes along.Now, this guide as I said before, will get you any girl I want to get you, meaning not stuck up girls, or unapproachable girls. Girls are more like us guys than we realize. When we walk into a room, if we see a girl that has desirable qualities for us, we’ll go and talk to her. Doesn’t matter what it is. She’s pretty, smart, popular, fun, whatever. It’s a desirable quality, and we like it, even if we don’t have any intentions of dating her at the moment.Guess what, if a girl’s talking to you, that means she sees some desirable qualities in you. That’s not to say that’s enough to build a relationship off of, but it’s a start. Find a girl that has things you like about her, and become friends.-The Friend Zone-Contrary to popular belief, the “friend zone” isn’t that bad, at least not if you play your cards right. You have to act like a friend though and not some psycho stalker, no matter how desirable she is to you. Think about it. You’ve probably lost some of your friends that were girls because they admitted to liking you and then obsessed about you. It works both ways.Most relationships, except the ones that start out as one night stands or drunken mistakes start as some degree of friends. If you enter a relationship without knowing the girl, then it’s lust talking. Being friends offers the perfect opportunity to get to learn about someone without the pressures of a relationship. The key here is you have to make the girl feel comfortable the entire time, while displaying (NOT showing off) the qualities she likes about you. Eventually she’ll feel comfortable enough to progress to the next level.The good news is this process doesn’t have to take too long. Maybe in 2 weeks to a month, you should either see her moving closer to you or not. If she’s not moving closer, don’t worry. Another myth is that there is only ‘one’ girl out there for you. False! There is one girl that you will spend the rest of your life with. In high school, you don’t necessarily want to find the girl that you want to spend the rest of your life with but you want to date as many girls as you possibly can to see the qualities you desire most, so you can find that right person. Besides, if she doesn’t want to be with you, then obviously she isn’t the ‘one’, is she?Stay friends and move on.-Use Your Charm-Now, she finds something about you attractive. Your height, your eye color, your charisma, your brains. Whatever it is, that was only enough to get her interested as friends. As friends, she’s quickly judging you to see if you would make a good potential boyfriend.Almost all of what is put in this article is from personal experience.I’m 17, tall and skinny. I’d say slightly above average in terms of looks. But I’m no Tom Brady. Yet this has worked for me. I know what type of girl I want, go after her. Never looking back, never regretting anything.Be confident. Girls love confidence. If you had a girl constantly complaining she was fat even if she wasn’t, or ugly, eventually you’d start to believe her, and would be turned off eventually. Again, it works both ways. If you can at least manage to fake being confident, she will be hooked. Why? Because some of the traits you hate about yourself may be the ones that she’s searching for. If you express a desire to change those traits that she likes, she’ll look for someone who is happy with themselves and will not be too preoccupied with themselves or second guessing to pay attention to her. You need to find who you want to be and stick with it. In most cases, you should just stay with who you were meant to be.As you’re being confident though, give her space. She won’t want to be smothered yet. If you come across as to desperate, needy or wanting, she will be turned off. If she feels trapped in the friend stage, she knows she will feel trapped and pressured in a relationship. Give her time, she’ll come around if she see’s you’re giving a genuine effort to be the best guy for her.Use your natural charm. Yes you have it. It will develop with practice, and the more you practice, the easier it will get easier to practice. It took me 4 ex girlfriends in 2 years to finally fine tune mine to the point where I know how to peak girl’s interest.Beware of being arrogant during the friend stage of your relationship. As I warned above, don’t show off. Some girls consider it a turn on, and others a turn off. But either way it could come across as desperate and pushy. And then, be wary of being arrogant after the relationship starts. If you start changing, she may wonder what else may change about you.-The Transition-During the transition between the friend stage and the relationship stage, you’re going to need to be especially in tune with her. She’s still judging you and determining what her feelings are about you. Pay attention to her. Do nice little things that she’ll enjoy. Start treating her differently from your other friends and make it apparent.Encourage flirting. Flirting is a great way to show you’re interested in more while still being subtle. If you don’t, she may assume you’re not interested and move on leaving you broken. If she’s ticklish, tickle her. Hug her from behind. Maybe make up something between you two that only you know. A secret handshake, or whatever. As childish as it sounds, girls absolutely love it and it will start to set you apart from the other guys.If the above is happening, then you’re headed in the right direction. You’ll be able to feel it, and so will she. You’ll be extremely happy together. And when it feels like this, when you never want it to end, and you’re thinking that you want a relationship together, then I guarantee you she is thinking the exact same thing.But how to go about doing it? I’ve seen/answered so many questions on here about how to pop the question. Just do it! Life’s too short to hesitate.Remember though you need to keep her comfortable. Don’t put her on the spot. Don’t change your attitude. Keep the flirty and fun element in it, while showing her you’re serious about a relationship with her. You want to surprise her. If she sees it coming she may be less inclined to impulsively react because she will have time to think about it too. She will sense your doubt, and back off.Just let it happen, no matter where it comes across your mind. At this point, she will most likely be into you and will appreciate your honesty and decisiveness, and take both of those as good qualities. If you’re sitting on the couch watching TV, just say it in a flirty way. “Hey, so we get along really well, I love spending time with you. And if you don’t mind my saying, you’re extremely attractive (you can wink or smile;) so I was wondering, wanna be my girlfriend?” Something like that would be on the flirty/cute end. Base it on what you’re doing when you want to say it. If you’re lying on a picnic table looking up at the stars, open up your feelings to her a little more. But never get too serious.-Closing-Well, you know her better than anyone by now, so I think I’m of little help. Just remember, keep if fun, keep it honest. Don’t change too much but treat her like she’s the only thing in the world. Value her happiness, but keep yours a priority as well. If you’re ever not happy, and things can’t be worked out, just walk away. Both of you will be happier for that than clinging on to something that’s not there.Because of this remember to honestly cherish each moment you spend with her, so you can learn from this relationship down the road. If i can help one relationship grow because of this, then i did my job. :)Feel free to post comments/success stories or whatever. I'll check back often.Happy dating,xnickx
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reader, xnickx +, writes (22 June 2010):
xnickx is verified as being by the original poster of the question Lol, 17 year olds who think they are gurus. Nah not me. but i have to atleast sound like i know what im talking about. ;)I really welcome the criticism. I believe i actually wrote this less than one week after breaking up with my girl of 7 mos that i still cared about for complicated reasons, and actually wrote this guide more of a way to work up my courage to move on, because when i move on i move on fast and then end up dwelling because im stuck on one girl that i cant decide if she likes me or not. and also because of your point:"But how to go about doing it? I’ve seen/answered so many questions on here about how to pop the question. Just do it! Life’s too short to hesitate."I really wanted to drive that point home.But anyways, yeah lol 4 girls. My games not perfect, but now i have enough confidence to know what i want and a round-about way of how to get it. I just thought i should share it here, a) to save guys who were stuck in my predicament (im pretty clumsy, pretty much a twig, was without confidence, and dont have much better to do with my time than write articles lol, not exactly a ladies man) the hassle of doing the work themselvs but also b) because as much as i talk i cant take my own advice at all so i figured if i have it all laid out in front of me and to remind me what i learned before i forget it would be better.And lastly i wrote it because, well quite honestly, most guys have no clue to what they're doing when it comes to girls. I certaintly would have liked to read it too. Would have saved a lot of time :) thanks much for your feedback. I'll republish it when i add some of the modifications you suggested i make.Thanks againxnickx
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): 17 year olds who think they are guru's? Now I've seen everything. Well you obviously enjoy writing and teaching people so hopefully you'll allow me to offer ideas as to how to improve your guide. Hell, it took you 4 ex-girlfriends to fine tune your game after all right?... :) Firstly, there's a lot of assumptions in here that teenage guys are like you when in reality they are not. For example..."When we walk into a room, if we see a girl that has desirable qualities for us, we’ll go and talk to her."Now, you obviously think that you do quite well with the ladies and you probably do... So much so that you may have lost touch with your audience... being largely teenage guys who don't do well with girls. A major reason for that is because they DON'T just go up to girls and talk to them, for whatever reason, shyness, lack of confidence, fear of rejection etc. At the end of the day that's really the biggest problem. After all, you'll miss every shot you don't take... There's also a difference between being friends and being in the friend zone. When you are friends with a girl, you still have a shot to develop that friendship into something more intimate. When she puts you in the friend zone, that is when you have no shot of becoming anything more, you're trapped in the friend zone... there's no cards left to play when stuck here.Try giving more examples or even exercises that can help the reader, for example... "Use your natural charm. Yes you have it. It will develop with practice, and the more you practice, the easier it will get easier to practice."How does one practice natural charm exactly, well here's an example of what it is and here's an exercise to help you practice this... not confident you say? Try doing this exercise to pump you up... So on and so forth... Doesn't have to be much, but the fact is that if unsuccessful teens had all the qualities that you mention, confidence, charm, flirting ability etc. then they wouldn't be unsuccessful to begin with. There's really no need for a step by step process if you simply have those attractive qualities, so consider suggesting how the reader can work to get those qualities. Meh, thats just my opinion. I wanted to see what a 17 year old's guide was like and don't take what I've said the wrong way, I was impressed, I certainly would have wanted to read it in high school. Anyways, goodluck :)
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