A
female
age
41-50,
*oopylynch
writes:Me and my ex had been together 12yrs, i was 16 and he was 27.... im now 28 and hes 39, we have 4 children together but in feb we boke up, it was ment to be just a break, to clear our heads... but i found out he was seeing an old flame from when he was 17, we live in london and she lives in malta, hes seen her twice in 7 months, hes 1st visit was for 5 days and his 2nd visit was 4 days... since may we have been sleeping together, spending weekends together, going park with the kids, he buys me dinner, gives me money and txts n rings me everyday... if i need him hes there!!hes told me hes going to malta again this month and when he gets bk hes leaving her and if im happy with it could he come home... ive said yes, but wot i cant understand is if he knows he wants to come home then y is he going again in 3 weeks time?? hes always been honest about hes feeling with me, hes told me he doesnt go to be with her, hes enjoying the fun he has with her brother which is hes very old friend... they go out on the speed boat and have a laugh... he hasnt broke up with her yet because it will cause a wedge between him and her brother, he said he just wants one more holiday and he wants to be with me and the kids.... my friends and family think hes having a mid life crisis, he lost his mum 2 yrs ago and its affected our family terribly, we were extremely close to her and since then hes been different... ive tried to understand him but i cant!! can someone relate to this situation? xx
View related questions:
a break, broke up, money, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (5 August 2010):
 Im gonna go ahead and tell u he's lying about driving the wedge between his friend if he breaks up with that chick...he's just not ready to give up that past. Im gonna go ahead and say he still loves u bc one theres a history, 4 children together, and u just can "relove" and old flame. Now this is the part of ur tired of him playing around so u need to put ur foot down and give him an ultimatum..Ur 28 u have 4 children u need a committed man in ur life, he's a near 40 yr old man and he needs to start acting like it and either give u commitment again that u guys need to work on relationship or you cant wait for him to be done with this fling i.e. midlife crisis and ur taking the kids moving on, and he can get them every weekend type of deal. Honestly, I think the love is still there but thats no excuse for his crisis..but I would put ur foot down and work it out!
A
female
reader, loopylynch +, writes (5 August 2010):
loopylynch is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi tennisstar88
Well im still sleeping with him so i suppose in a way i have already forgiven him... im just scared that when he goes away on the 24th he might feel differently when he comes home and not want me like hes been saying he does!! the answers im looking for is.... who does he love?? as i said hes only seen her for a total of 9 days in 4 months and hes seen me about 3 times aweek in 4 months!! im just confused i suppose and im hurting so much i just dont no if to walk away and let him choose his path.... xx
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 August 2010):
I can relate in a sense...I rekindled an old flame while i was engaged(I know shame on me) just went out then things turned sexual which led to a one nighter and now out of my system. Same thing with him, he re-visted what it was like back in the day and now he's done and wants to come back to reality. Was in right, no. Why did i do it, bc at the moment it was nice to feel diff feelings when ur relationship is boiling in the pot. I never told my now ex fiance soo at least u know about. Now the ? is are u going to forgive him and take him back? Technically, it's not cheating bc he did it when u guys are on a break
...............................
A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (3 August 2010):
 I can't relate but this situation sounds like something that could happen. He want to spend some time with his buddy that just so happens to be his ex's brother. yeah it's a little complicated but it sounds like you guys can work it out.
...............................
|
