A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If a man is in a long-term committed relationship, and goes out to a bar with his friends, if he chats with a lady and she gives him her phone number, shouldn't he say "no thanks, I have a girlfriend" instead of putting the number in his pocket? We have had trust issues in the past which I thought were worked out over the past year, now he comes home drunk with someone's number. I am very hurt that he would take it.
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female
reader, lover06 +, writes (6 May 2012):
i dont think it's a big deal that he kept the number . Maybe he didnt want to hurt her feeling. Now if he uses the number it's a totally different thing. You dont trust him to give you a stright answers so wait and see , just dont invest to much time in this matter coz it will only hurt you more. Take care and good luck.
A
female
reader, Latti +, writes (6 May 2012):
It's not okay and it's disrespectful to you! He knows how you feel....you've been through this before. So the bottom line is...he enjoys the attention and he is leading women on to assume he's available. This will on lead to disaster and more of "YOUR" heartache!
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (6 May 2012):
He might have just taken the number to avoid an awkward situation, but it’s worth asking him why it was in his pocket, and why, if he took it to avoid embarrassment, did he not throw it away? It’s worth asking him, see what he says. There may well be a perfectly innocent explanation, there’s nothing wrong in itself with having a lady’s phone number, but it’s what he intends to have contact with her for that might be cause for suspicion. But don’t pre-judge, ask him so that if you are still suspicious, those suspicions are based on what he’s actually said, not on speculation. There might be an innocent enough explanation. Also do you need to have a talk about openness to help you work through your trust issues? Would it have made a difference if he’d told you straight away that he’d taken some-one’s number and why, if there’s a justifiable enough reason? Can you agree some ground rules about sharing information and better communicating so that you don’t get upset and anxious every time something seems a little odd?I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (6 May 2012):
 It's a little suspicious, especially if he's done something else to break your trust. Did he tell you it happened or did he try to hide it? He may have been flattered and just was enjoying the treatment too much to say no, which isn't great but also doesn't mean he's going to actually call her.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 May 2012):
 Maybe he thinks it is easier to just put it in his pocket than to say no to her. Or, they are social networking and there is no need to announce to people that he is taken unless she is making flirtatious gestures like winking and touching a little. Giving a number out could really, mean lots of things. I get this a lot, I see people as aquaintences and they feel obligated to acknowledge me on the street, they are not really interested in me as a person, they politely make conversations and when they have enough, they give me the number so they could politely walk away and pretend they won't ignore me forever.
This is my experience. I don't know what he did to you and whether you could trust him again. If you can't trust him then you can't feel loved even if you are in a committed relationship. It depends on how he is treating you when you have alone time together. If you don't have enough quality time with your man of course it is going to fuel your negative thoughts about him.
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